---
product_id: 1702174
title: "Emotional Sobriety: From Relationship Trauma to Resilience and Balance"
brand: "tian dayton"
price: "€ 37.45"
currency: EUR
in_stock: false
reviews_count: 13
url: https://www.desertcart.fi/products/1702174-emotional-sobriety-from-relationship-trauma-to-resilience-and-balance
store_origin: FI
region: Finland
---

# Emotional Sobriety: From Relationship Trauma to Resilience and Balance

**Brand:** tian dayton
**Price:** € 37.45
**Availability:** ❌ Out of Stock

## Quick Answers

- **What is this?** Emotional Sobriety: From Relationship Trauma to Resilience and Balance by tian dayton
- **How much does it cost?** € 37.45 with free shipping
- **Is it available?** Currently out of stock
- **Where can I buy it?** [www.desertcart.fi](https://www.desertcart.fi/products/1702174-emotional-sobriety-from-relationship-trauma-to-resilience-and-balance)

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## Description

Emotional Sobriety: From Relationship Trauma to Resilience and Balance

## Images

![Emotional Sobriety: From Relationship Trauma to Resilience and Balance - Image 1](https://m.media-amazon.com/images/I/41kchxoV7IL.jpg)

## Customer Reviews

### ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐ 







  
  
    Excellent
  

*by B***H on Reviewed in the United States on February 27, 2023*

First, let me say, this book was NOT what I thought it would be.  It was way over my head with the limited intelligence I have with only a high-school education.  So much of it I didn't really understand.  However, I loved it and learned so much from it.  I feel like I have taken 3 semesters of psychology classes at a university.  My only problem was that I didn't have anyone to ask questions of as I went along.  I will need to read it again, and then again, and look things up to completely understand a lot of it.  But to me, the book was worth the price just for the last chapter called "Stick With The Winners: Habits of Emotionally Sober People". This chapter I will definitely read over and over, and will continue to work on developing these characteristics within myself.  I realize that my recommendation will not mean much to anyone, but I'm really glad that I pushed myself to finish this book.  It has been, and will continue to be, a tremendous help to me.  I highly recommend it.

### ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐ 







  
  
    ONE BOOK TO RULE THEM ALL. Excellent integration of up-to-date research.
  

*by T***D on Reviewed in the United States on September 1, 2009*

I am a Ph.D. candidate of Marriage & Family Therapy and work as a Marriage and Family Therapist Intern. I have run psychotherapy groups for several years already with addicts and their families, and I've been trained in multiple therapy modalities (EFT, SFBT, Gestalt, CBT, MI). This is a book that I wish I had written.Even though I posted this review nine months ago, I continue to recommend this book to both my colleagues and friends. I still have not found any books as comprehensive and balanced, as this book offers the latest research and integrates a spectrum of our field's freshest relationship theories into one book.  She helps us move closer toward a "Grand Unified Theory" of therapy and integrates attachment theory, attachment injuries, updates in the codependency literature, research on emotions, PTSD, ADHD, grief, depression, anxiety, and more, and she makes it applicable to the lay person as well as to the therapist.This book can help clients understand how therapists can help, while giving therapists an updated look at how research on attachment theory can be integrated with the fields of substance abuse. For example, a lot of people still treat substance abuse using old models, using cognitive-only approaches, outdated notions of codependency, and overlooking the role of the brain, emotions, biology, trauma and the family system. She validates the newer approaches of using more experiential, emotionally-focused and systemic approaches with addicts and families and gives us clear language to explain why it works.Dr. Dayton stops us before we "throw the baby out with the bathwater." The pop psychology concept of "codependency" was popular in the addiction recovery field, but it was criticized mainly because there is little or no scientific evidence to support basic tenets of codependency theory, it became so watered down that it was useless, it seemed that every behavior was codependent, and was generally used as a derogatory label that tended to apply more often to women. Thus, Dr. Dayton prefers to talk about "relationship trauma."Nevertheless, Dr. Dayton provides her own definition of codependency, but links it to the latest research on adult attachment. You may also be interested in some recent research on codependency & attachment styles I came across by Whiteleather & Doumas (2004). [...]  Using the four quadrant model of attachment styles, they correlated the concept of "codependency" with the anxious/preoccupied attachment style.Dr. Dayton defines codependency using an integration of attachment theory and Bowen family systems theory which I agree with and couldn't have said better: "Codependency, I feel, is fear-based and is a predictable set of qualities and behaviors that grow out of feeling anxious and therefore hypervigilant in our intimate relationships. It is also reflective of an incomplete process of individuation....Though codependency seems to be about caretaking or being overly attuned to the other person, it is really about trying to fend off our own anxiety." (p. 150-151) I believe that both codependency AND counterdependency are maladaptive behaviors used to manage anxiety about relationships--both are terms that I'm seeing appear more often recently. Dr. Dayton believes that these anxious or avoidant behaviors are the result of attachment injuries, or relationship traumas as she calls it.She EVEN shows how humor and psychodrama are healing, both of which I believe are powerful therapeutic agents. She describes the theories of humor and how laughter is healing, when I thought I was the only therapist who was interested in that. Yeesh! She got (almost) everything that I feel is important, including spirituality.If I was to write the next reincarnation of her book, I would want to include more Christian spirituality, but that's only because my undergraduate degree is in theology. My ONLY minor criticism was when she connected the Greek concept of "agape" love with romantic love (page 122) and said that it was too "unstable" for the foundation of a family. I don't believe Dr. Dayton truly understands what agape love means. Agape is by definition an unconditional decision to love somebody despite feelings, and therefore is the MOST stable form of love, something we need more of in our relationships. In the Bible, "agape" is used to describe God's unconditional, unmoving love for us despite the things we do wrong.The only other concern, which is not a bad thing, is that perhaps Dr. Dayton tries to do too much in her book! Whole books have been written on the topics for each chapter, so that she can't dive in too deep on any of them. Her book is monumental in putting all of this into one book. But, at least I can highly recommend this book as a good integration of a broad spectrum of theories for the professional who works with relationship traumas and helping people become more emotionally aware, as well as an advanced overview for the general audience.

### ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐ 







  
  
    Great experience written in the book to allow me to grow spiritually
  

*by A***Y on Reviewed in the United States on September 23, 2020*

I also have this book on Audio. lots of best practices+suggestions that was used by the writer. I work this book into my daily reading and I am a recovering alcoholic and am a working the 12 steps and after lots of soul search this author helped me to understand why I "act" out when I am afraid....Great book for all types of people in need of help

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*Product available on Desertcart Finland*
*Store origin: FI*
*Last updated: 2026-02-23*