Killing Pain: Understanding the Opioid Pandemic and the American Obsession with Oxycontin, Heroin, and Other Painkillers

I have known Robert for some years from attending his presentations at conferences and at treatment centers. The man is the "Real Deal." I have been a state licensed substance abuse counselor for 30 years working urban areas and rural addiction in Indian Country. I have many years working crisis. Statistically, 87 % of all crisis is alcohol and/or drug related. Only 13% of clients are having a bad mental health day. Robert's book personalizes the grip of addiction, the pain, the agony, the frustration. His book clearly explains "How could they do that?" on a deeply personal level. Something other books in my extensive library about addiction do not do. If you want to "Get it" and develop empathy for your addicted clients then read Killing Pain. If you manage an agency you should invest in a case of books and require your staff to read it.

I've read this book once and am now reading it again. I thought I knew alot about this subject but have been re-educated as well as enlightened. You will be forever aware of this sad situation our people are suffering. Thank you Bob for put it all out there.

This was one of the best books I've read, well written and is a real page turner. It helped explain both in scientific terms and has examples of what an addict goes through. I highly recommend this book.

Kirkus Reviews: "Hayward was sober after decades of heavy drinking and owned a swimming pool construction business in Southern California when, in the early 2000's, he started taking the opioid Oxycontin for back pain. The drug eliminated the pain and induced a euphoric high, but while it was touted as nonaddictive, it proved quite the opposite. The author was soon snorting huge quantities every day to appease his craving; stealing money from his company to support his habit, which he fed with prescriptions and illicit street purchases; and alienated his family and employees with his manic bluster. A medical detox regimen got him clean, but he immediately relapsed and plunged further into chaos, including an incident in which he accidently spilled his Oxycontin pills into the pit underneath an outhouse- and dove in to retrieve them. Hayward finally went cold turkey at his isolated ranch in the Sierras, whereupon the memoir becomes a squalid but gripping story of wilderness survival. Snowed in at a freezing cabin with bears prowling around outside, he endured horrific withdrawal symptoms- "I was crying, tears falling, snot dropping from my nose, drool from my mouth, throw up in my mouth, yellow/orange vomit shooting out in front, black liquid squirting from behind"- that sapped his will to live. The author's account lays bare the dynamics of opioid dependency, from the corrupt collusion of doctors in promoting addiction to the egotism and hubris of addicts imagining they can control their habits. His prose is vivid and evocative in conveying the rush of 0pioid highs-"The colors of the forest and lake were vivid and pulsating...I sat on a boulder and wallowed in my addiction, exhilarated beyond ecstasy, a whole body and mind orgasm throbbed through my entire mind, body, and what was left of my soul"- and unsparing on the relentless taskmasters the drugs become. ("They turn you into a robot- going through life's motions, yet everything revolves around your next dose, next hit, next snort, next visit to the doctor or dealer, the endless counting and recounting of pills.") When Hayward finally writes of gleaning hope from God, his redemption feels authentic and moving. ...An engrossing account of degradation and hard-fought recovery. Kirkus Reviews Nov. 2022

Mr. Hayward invites his readers into his journey through hell regarding addiction, as well as hope in recovery. I was kept on the edge of my seat, consistently able to visualize his life, situation, feelings, mind frame as he recounts his journey. A powerful read.

This is such a difficult topic for many people to talk about and I imagine it wasn't always easy for the author to write about, but in sharing his story, it helps others. I love the open honesty he uses to describe his own journey, and also love that this book comes loaded with facts about the opioid epidemic as well as hope for a solution. He explains how he quit his addition and provides information on how others can do the same.

Great read, informative and insightful. Changed the way I look at addiction.