My Mother, Munchausen's and Me: A True Story of Betrayal and a Shocking Family Secret

I am an adult who has been disabled for twenty years with the American version of ME called fibromyalgia. I was poisoned with antibiotics, so I am bed bound and neither of my sons knew me before my illness.I was afraid there would be a lot of guilt dumped on me for messing up my kids' lives by being ill.Huge people to the author who somehow wrote a heart-wrenching book about being the child of an adult who wasn't involved in parenting without blaming and shaming parents who are sick.I am glad that I forced myself to read this because it did give me insight into what impact my sons might have or will have experienced by the time they are both adults.One great decision the author made was to give her mother the microphone sometimes. Most were at the end, so it didn't mess with my fear and insecurities as much. At a couple of points, I did burst out laughing, but I stopped myself, ashamed for laughing but the next sentence was that she burst out laughing at how absurd it was, too.I hope the author and her family can heal and enjoy being together. Those kids have a massive gift. My mother was sexually abused and my dad was without food many days after his alcoholic dad took all the money to buy alcohol while my dad and his older brother and sister had to comfort their younger siblings crying from an empty stomach. Somehow those damaging experiences never touched me or my brothers until we learned about them as teens and adults.Thanks to this author for choosing to keep their children insulated from the impossible behavior experienced her entire childhood. Truly this book is a brave and loving determination that her kids will be thankful she made when they find out. It also is a moving live letter to someone who seemed unlovable.I weep for all children who must survive their abuser. That is the greatest bravery to continue living.To handle a memory of a deeply narcissistic mother with empathy and grace is a testament to writing talent but more importantly evidence of a heart of tremendous power and its capacity for love.Excellent book.

Any time an individual writes a memoir, one must truly appreciate what that author must go through to write it. Especially in this case. While I personally have no experience with Munchhausen, I couldn't help but feel for the baby & little girl going through that! At many points I wanted to tell the author "don't fall for it, don't beat yourself up"!I hope writing this book helped you to exorcise your past. You are obviously not your mother.

The Author kept repeating herself about her mother over and over again… I get her mother faked her illness, but to say it over and over again is boring, and made me skip lots of pages… also she better learn to understand her mother was mentally sick, and stop holding so much hate, or it will years later damage her

Helen’s childhood involved lack of supervision and the need to stay extremely quiet. When she grew up, married, and became pregnant for the time, the lies began to unravel. Yet, barring a momentary vision of clarity that was rescinded an hour later, her mother never did own up to what she had done, finally, dying because she had woven such a web of lies that the NHS couldn’t help her. I had heard of Munchausen’s Syndrome, and had speculated some on it regarding various people I have known, but I had never followed the thoughts to their logical conclusion. Helen’s story is heartbreaking. I know it must have been hard to tell, but I am so glad that she did so we can all look more closely and carefully at those situations that don’t quite seem right, and possibly be the lifeline that some young child needs.

This a really good memoir Helen made to book and her story very personal & real qny can relate to this story from so many view points I would have wanted a little more detail into her mom's behavior when she pretending to be ill but I realize this story is more about a child survival from living with a parent who has munchausen than it is about just munchausen & everyone can relate to this story if they have some one in their life who is vain narcissistic and manipulative & how they can deal with that relationship without feeling wrong for putting themselves first

Helen grew up in a dysfunctional family - both her parents were always ill and she suffered neglect as a result. However, as she grew up, it started to become clear that her mother was making up her illnesses to get attention. While never diagnosed, she had Munchausen's and was a narcissist. It was difficult for Helen to be a good daughter to her mother when her mother was obviously not a good mother and she suffered much guilt and blame by others. In addition, her mother resented any attention Helen showed to her own family instead of towards her, causing more guilt and blame. The audiobook was narrated by the author, which added a layer of truth and sadness to the story.While I have read many stories of Munchausen's by proxy (where an adult harms a child to get attention), this is the first account I've read of someone suffering themselves and how it affected the entire family. It was heartbreaking that Helen's dad and the many, many physicians her mother went to never supported Helen or got psychiatric help for her mother. I would hope that today we would be more aware but these people are also perfect manipulators. Hopefully writing this book was cathartic and will help Helen move forward with her life.I received both a digital and audio ARC of this book from the publisher but it in no way influenced my review.

I’ve heard of, buy never read about anyone with Munchausen’s Syndrome.I was often confused and slightly bored during the first part of the book, but the last half brought it all together and I couldn’t put it down.I find it disgusting that the mental health system did not do more for this mentally ill women. I do recommend this book for anyone who is curious about this disease. It is just hard to imagine that anyone would live this way. Kudos to the author for surviving, thriving, and telling this story.

Such a strange story or woe and betrayal, but you can't help but wonder who the real victim is. The daughter diagnoses the mother with Munchausen's but the doctors note her horrible early death as Parkinson's. The daughter seems to revel into delving into her mother's narcissism and yet ignores her own...the parallels are amazing to the point where both cut off people who don't agree with them, but the daughter crushes her mother for this behaviour while exhaulting herself for the same. The narrative is tightly controlled to gain sympathy for the author, but one is left wondering how truly mean she was to her mother, even to the point of her eulogy.

An absolutely honest and heartfelt book by Helen Naylor. Being raised with someone who has NPD is detrimental in more than one ways. Most people who have never met some with NPD won't understand this no matter what.It's for those of us who do! However instead of recording Elinor's regular entries which don't provide much of an insight into her mind we'd have loved to see the actual entries whose mention Helen does in the last part of her book.

Thank you for writing this Helen. I'm sorry you've had to experience all this heartache and pain and confusion. You're an amazing person to have so much insight and understanding into what's happened in your life. You should be so proud of yourself that you've chosen to provide your own children with so much love and stability, as many people in your position would not have been able to do so, and a similar cycle could have continued for generations. It's very difficult to break family cycles of dysfunction. Well done as it's a mammoth task to reflect upon and learn from the past, and relearn what healthy, nurturing, and supportive parenting and emotional intelligence really is.Those who haven't experienced narcissistic parenting/family members will not understand what you've been through. It's extremely difficult to find yourself continually involved with someone who you know abuses you, who you know uses you, who you know doesn't tell the truth, yet you still feel responsible for them, despite how negatively their actions impact upon your own emotional and family life. I think you've described this very well in your book, and I'm sorry you had to go through all this for so many years. It's amazing how narcissists have different faces for different people, and try to paint you in a certain light dependent upon who their audience is.This is a very compelling and informative book that can help educate a lot of people. I hope writing it has helped you Helen, and helped you realise that sadly you are not alone in having experiences such as a manipulative, domineering, and inconsistent family member. I am also an only child and relate to a lot of what you are talking about. Other members of my family have siblings, and the power play, lies, and favouritism exhibited between them and the narcissist are chilling and I am well away from it all now. They were played against each other growing up to serve the needs of the narcissist, who projected their own negative emotions onto the people around them.I wonder if you may get some benefit from Al Anon books or meetings, due to your mum liking alcohol at times. Al Anon is the side of things for people affected by a loved one's drinking (different from Alcoholics Anonymous which is for the actual drinker to learn about).I hope you continue to find fulfilment and happiness in your life. I hope you have some comfort in knowing that your parents are at peace now.

i just devoured this book in a day and found the story engrossing, sad and relatable - even though my own mother is nothing like Eleanor, I think everyone can relate to knowing someone who is a much more diluted version of her!I love that Helen works hard to maintain neutrality within this book, telling her truth while acknowledging that others might see things differently. It would have been very easy for Helen to leave out conflicting details like her mum's death certificate, or the voices of friends who disagreed with her interpretation of events, but she chooses to add them in, along with her own moments of self doubt.I imagine that recovering from not only a lost childhood but 30-odd years of dealing with her mother's narcissism will take quite a lot of getting over, but I hope that writing this book has been therapeutic for Helen. Finding out who she is now that the shadow of her mother isn't clouding her life, I'm pleased to say that I found this book to be well-written and engaging, so maybe the future will include another book, hopefully on a happier subject.

Quite repetitive at times. Book made me feel really frustrated and other times so angry with how long author put up with the mother controlling her life.