The Myths of Happiness: What Should Make You Happy, but Doesn't, What Shouldn't Make You Happy, but Does Paperback – January 28, 2014

Sonja Lyubomirsky's latest book hit the trifecta of reasons to read and follow her counsel as to how we can be happier - (1) she's an expert who's research is sound in the area; (2) she provides a comprehensive perspective that's applicable to everyone; and (3) it's well written and pragmatic in it's approach.Lyubomirsky's book is the voice of wisdom and wise counsel. It's a true "how to" book on happiness and takes the approach that we have a chance at greater happiness if we'll just better prepare our minds by debunking myths that keep us from being as happy as we can be. By training our minds to follow sound thinking when it comes to happiness, we increase the chances we'll actually be happier. No silver bullet. But practical advice from someone who's researched it and lived it.I expect we'll see more of Lyubomirsky through the years as she is prolific in her research and writing. And that consistent hard work is amplifying her voice as one of our generation's true research-based philosophers.

I (Nancy) originally rented this book from the library but decided to purchase the Kindle version to keep. Although some reviewers didn't seem to think there was anything creative or new about S.L.'s ideas, I thought the book offered some helpful and different coping ideas and ways of looking at both the good and bad we experience throughout our lives. At least, it did help me. I haven't read many self-help books because so many seem full of cliches, difficult to practice and boring. This was an exception. I also liked the author's writing.As with everything - to each his own.

I'm about to have my first book published. The idea of seeing boxes of books on my front doorstep feels both surreal and monumental. It's a huge accomplishment that I will celebrate with a party, in a red barn, with twinkly lights. There will be music, friends, food, and revelry. But I know that a published book won't bring me happiness.A few days ago I was talking to a friend who has authored over 40 books. I told her I knew that having a published book would not make me happy. She seemed surprised and wanted to know how I knew that ahead of time. I told her I thought it was because I had done so much research on the topic of happiness. I understand what poor judges people are at knowing what will bring them happiness and what won't.People have a happiness set point. Fifty percent of happiness is genetic, ten percent is based on life circumstances, and forty percent is within our power to effect. For instance, Americans will put themselves in debt for decades thinking a dream home, boat, or car will make them happy. But the new wears off within a few days because of an effect called hedonic adaptation. Most people don't understand that the lotto winer and the paralyzed person will bounce back to their prior happiness level within a few months of their changed life condition.The joy is in the journey. I'll never forget what my friend Zeke Pipher said when his book released. In essence, "Whether this book sells or not, it won't define my worth, happiness, or success." He went on to describe his faith and his relationship with his wife and children, saying those were the reasons for his joy. Zeke should know. His mom wrote an international best-seller: she soon found that the harried pace of traveling and speaking made her miserable. There's an interesting research study that found when people were randomly beeped, and told to write down what they were doing and how happy they were, folks were happiest while in the creative state of "flow." Flow is when you are fully absorbed in an activity, so much so that you lose sense of time. Numerous studies have shown that it is the striving, not the achieving, that makes us happy, especially when our goals are realistic, flexible, valued by the culture, authentic, non-materialistic, and not negatively impacting other parts of our lives.The more we attain, the more we want, and this negates our increased happiness. Professor Sonja Lyubomirsky in her newly released book, The Myths of Happiness, explains that aspirations are misleading. We attain more, so we want more, and the wanting makes us feel bad. Crazy huh? She concludes that we shouldn't expect less but that we should simply not allow our desires to continue escalating to the point where we end up feeling entitled and convinced that we would only be happy if we got more and more of this or that.Relying on external rather than internal validation makes us unhappy. Some people think they will be happy based on other people's opinion of their success. But, when we ask ourselves the question, "How good (successful, smart, affable, prosperous, ethical) am I?" the people who rely on an internal rather than external objective standard are happier. There will always be someone wealthier, more attractive, thinner, more popular, and more talented, therefore, relying on other people's opinions rather than our own is a recipe for misery.In short, goals which cause growth, make us feel competent, and connect us to others, are the ones that make us happy. Goals which make us strive to be rich, famous, popular, or powerful, make us unhappy.

You can trust the advice because the author has done the research and offers simple processes to follow.Highly Recommended!

Read it, but still I am not happier.This is a well researched dissertation on the classic myths associated with happiness. This book actually might make you sadder or even more frustrated as it tears away all the coping mechanisms we have for surviving through a bad situation. If you are an academic and it’s your first self help book it may be enlightening. The author makes important, salient points and backs them up with research studies. This book does a good job telling you why you’re miserable and dissatisfied, not that great of a job of finding you happiness. Basically, unless you can find happiness where you are, you won’t find happiness elsewhere either. Certainly there is a large cross-section of the American/western/first-world population that needs to hear this.

I wish I had discovered this book 30 years ago when I graduated from college and started 'chasing' happiness... in all the wrong ways.This is a simple to read book that is filled with practical ideas about how to improve your happiness in nearly all aspects of your life. As the father of two young sons, I'm looking forward to sharing these strategies with them to help them make smart choices that make them happy.I highly recommend reading this book.

This book is very interesting .I think it answer at frequents questions or people are not necessary answers.For exemple is it possible to be happy if I haven't got a good job ? if I never maried ? if I am too old ? if I haven't got any money ... etc ?There are a lot of references of plenty overs interesting books in the text.It's very easy to deepen you knowledge about this topic.

I bought this book with little expectations. Many books written by psychologists contain little practical advice and lose themselves in details that will often be interesting for experts in the respective field, but much less so for the casual reader.I am no expert and neither do I claim to be one, but I can say with certainty that this book helped me making sense of my own expectations about certain things in life. I now try and take a step back before judging a decision that would have affected my mood a lot more negatively otherwise.Some of the advice did come in handy in my marriage and other passages make for great donner conversations with friends and family.Overall, I think this is an excellent read and I gladly recommend it to not only the experts, but also the casual reader.

Love this book. Just the right balance making research practically useful to our lives. Having just hit 50 this has been very useful for reflecting on past decisions and looking forward to a happy future by paying more attention to what matters. Will be recommending this book personally and professionally.

A very good read - the author has a writing style that makes it easy to understand her conclusions, and provides enough information that her conclusions are credible. It generated a lot of discussion around the family dinner table.

I bought this book due to a recommendation so it has a lot to live up to! I have barely started this book, but I what I have read so far it seems very promising and thought provoking.