Playing to Lose: How a Jehovah's Witness Became a Submissive BDSM Model Paperback – December 3, 2024

Anyone that has seen Ariel perform would expect this to be full of humor and charm as that's what we've all come to expect from our lovely heroine. This memoir will not disappoint as it's filled with her wit, humor and endless supply of anecdotes. What I never expected was to be educated not just on the topics shared with us but on myself as well.I've followed the author's career mainly through her tease & glamour work and while I knew she had BDSM and other fetish work out there I never sampled them as they held no interest for me. I always though I was a you do you and let me do me kind of person. I didn't realize how biased I was toward some fetishes until I read this memoir. I had so many negative preconceived notions of what that industry must be like and to find they are completely false is eye-opening. While I may never want to experience BDSM or Sadism/Masochism in my own life I have a much greater appreciation and respect for those that do and can relate to the struggles of sharing yourself so openly.P.S. I wish I had a friend like Hywel in my life. He comes off so sweet and kind you just want to give him a never-ending hug (even if it makes him a little uncomfortable lol).

If you buy this book hoping for salacious sex or BDSM scenes to turn you on, you're likely to be disappointed. Yes, there is a lot of description of bondage, spanking and other sexuality, but that's not really what this book is about. It's about feeling different, an outsider, wrongly blaming yourself for not "fitting in," and ultimately learning to live authentically. Particularly as a child, the author suffered mostly in silence from feeling too tall, from belonging to an ascetic fundamentalist religious group that forbid ordinary adolescent celebrations, and especially for having a sexuality dominated by submissive masochism. Her story is about the progress she made overcoming her shame, evolving from a teenager with suicidal ideation to an adult comfortable enough with herself to share her uncommon sexuality with the public and with us. Her journey provides a fascinating glimpse into the world of BDSM and spanking fetish modeling both through the lens of her diminishing insecurities and from her present vantage point. The tone of the book is one of exquisite vulnerability: both in her films and in this book, Ariel has exposed herself so that we too can overcome our own shame and learn from her example to live more authentically. It is unusual to find such a deep and meaningful message in a book that is so light-hearted and fun to read. I recommend it highly.

I have been aware of Ariel Anderssen as a model/super-model for quite some time, so when she published her memoir I was intrigued and got a hold of her book as soon as I could get it. And... I binge-read the whole book in one late night session. Her story indeed involves the Jehovah's Witnesses and her work as an adult performer in the BSDM modeling industry, but it contains neither religion-bashing nor is it a steamy adult novel (although there are some spicy sections describing some of her modeling work). This is a very personal and sincere recollection of the author's journey through a confusing childhood, a painful coming-of-age period, and finally her successful career as a BDSM model.A couple of the early chapters left me in tears weeping for a child lost in confusion over her sexual awakening without help or guidance. Other sections made me smile as the author compiles advice and encouragement she would have liked to send back in time to her younger self. The book ends with a powerful affirmation of her chosen career as an adult performer. She rightfully looks at this career with pride, she has been open with her entire family about her work, and by all accounts she is a super successful businesswoman in her field. How did that come about, and how does the feel she fits into "mainstream" society? Get her book and find out. Oh, and while you do enjoy her very British style of narration and turn of phrase.

I wish I was able to give like a 4.5. this first auto biography I have ever read and I found it to interesting and enlightening. i'm not going to lie, i was struggling with the beginning but once I reached the college years things began to pick up for me. I think people can learn a lot from this book whether it about jehovah witness or bdsm. worth a read

Honest, funny, vulnerable, intelligent, daring, and sweet, this book is like meeting a new friend with a trove of adventures to share, along with a passionate conviction that you are worthy of having whatever delights you crave, be they domestic bliss, smoking hot D/s roleplay, spiritual awakenings through impact play, or simply the chance to talk honestly about your kinky desires with someone who will be neither shocked nor judgemental. She's got great stories, told with candour and a wickedly droll sense of snark. This book is the story of a good girl gone bad for the better, one who's willing to share both the why and the how to of it all. So what are you waiting for? Go order it.

There of many of us out in the world who this book is a mirror of our own lives, views and desires. I have followed from a distance the work of this model/producer for many years now. (Not often mentioned, but she also has a cookbook out that I can recommend.)The world would be a better place if people would read this book and understand the message. We are unique, but there are others like us. We are not alone. Being open rather than combative.This is a moving and motivational book.I recommend it for anyone, only wishing I had the chance to read it as my teenager self.Thank you to the author for being so open and insightful.

Ms. Anderssen is an excellent writer, honest and brave. Beyond the titillation factor, she has some important things to say about human growth and societal attitudes. She is the type of memoirist that, having read her story, one would like to befriend. I certainly hope she continues writing. Perhaps fiction next time.

I love the narrative and feel some of the ideas …I wish I had this to read years ago…inspiring, enjoyable and well written.

Hilarious, heartfelt, ridiculously entertaining. Even if you know nothing about the world of jehovah's witnesses or bdsm, you'll find something to love here.

Such an open, honest and intriguing account of an extraordinary life written and read by the lady herself.She is so open and engaging about what set her apart as she grew into an adult, it is a rare and honest insight into a side of society that is so seldom talked about without scorn or ridicule. A fabulous book from a lovely lady. Highly recommended 👌

I haven't read a book for years, since needing reading glasses and falling asleep after a page or two, but this book kept me awake and curious to read the next bit! It has all you could think of, tragedy, comedy, sadness, love and an honest look into the world of BDSM modelling. Totally fascinating, even if it would not be your thing, there are moments of subtle and surprising hilarity. Well worth a look.

I don't normally read memoirs, and I'm not into BDSM. But I enjoyed the hell out of this book.While reading about Ariel's vast and varied struggles as a teen and young woman, I found myself tearing up; but far more often, I burst into laughter at her hilarious accounts of various situations. Her voice draws you in - it's friendly, warm and easy to read.My browser history has also gotten quite interesting as I looked up different people and concepts from the book. It was quite eye-opening!Most of the practices mentioned aren't my thing, but that doesn't matter one bit, because the heart of this book is about coming into your own and finding community. In fact, it's the mark of an excellent storyteller to be able to guide you through a strange world that isn't yours and keep you feeling safe and engaged all the while.Ariel managed to overcome truly vast amounts of shame and found her family among BDSM folk who seem absolutely lovely. I'm glad they're out there modeling true consent and sexual playfulness for society as a whole. And I'm glad Ariel is modeling being open about your sexuality which, as a woman, still (sadly) requires a lot of courage. There are so many quotable, empowering lines in this book. Here's just one example for you:"I cannot see how trying to censor any woman's sexual expression can possibly be good for us. None of us can choose our sexual identities, or who and what we love. The best we can do is to confront these desires honestly, and respect ourselves and others when we engage with them.""Playing to Lose" has definitely raised my confidence in living my own life (and my sexuality) the way I want to. I could have read an entire trilogy by Ariel, and I'll be following her for as long as she keeps creating content. Thank you, Ariel, for your big heart and open spirit.

This is a brilliant book and I loved reading it. Whether or not you are interested in BDSM, Ariel’s journey from shame and repression to joyful acceptance of her kinky sexuality is compelling. It’s beautifully written, full of irony, clever self-mockery and vivid descriptions of her extraordinary experiences as a BDSM model. Ariel's account of her various personal struggles is very moving and it’s heart-warming to know that her career, marriage, friendships and family life have brought her so much happiness.But it’s not a fairy tale. This is not only a personal story, but a plea for greater acceptance of BDSM, which Ariel believes to have been unfairly stigmatised as exploitative and anti-feminist. She gives compelling evidence that her submissive sexual persona is not something forced on her by a patriarchal society but is just part of who she is. No doubt it won’t convince everyone, but her testimony deserves to be taken seriously. Ariel tells us how difficult it was to get her book published and her courage and persistence are hugely impressive.Ariel is scathing about the Jehovah’s Witnesses, the cult she was brought up in until she was 13 and of which she is now a survivor. I found it hard not to agree with her, whilst uneasily feeling that they are also a persecuted minority. But it’s clear that their repressive attitudes did her a lot of harm and I hope they will take her criticisms seriously.In short, it’s a fascinating story, a great read and an important book that may help to change the way we think about BDSM. It’s also an important addition to the growing body of JW survivor literature. Read it!