I Was Here

I liked that this novel touched on some serious subjects that need to be heard, yet it was still a good and quick read. Forman's voice is strong, simple, and forward, and I liked the way she developed each character. The story really highlights what Cody goes through, as well as other characters, instead of focusing its attention wholly on Meg; this was a big factor in my positive review because if you take your own life, you don't get to tell your story. Cody's character even comments on this fact. With stories about this subject matter (or even TV shows), I feel that there is always so much focus on the character who took his/her own life, when there should really be focus, just as much if not more, on the characters whose lives are negatively affected by someone else's decision -- the guilt, the bitterness, the discomfort, the disappointment, the regret -- all the feelings that are conjured up with one person's irreversible action. While a lot of this story is bittersweet and heart-wrenching, it is accurate and feels very real, unlike other YA fiction that focuses a decision or tragedy like this around guilt tripping others and adding dramatic effects to get more viewers and readers. There is something for everyone in "I Was Here". It's full of mystery, tragedy, drama, romance, and even a little comedic relief here and there. I cannot express how much I enjoyed reading this -- I think it only took me about three or four days to breeze through it because I loved it so much. Forman is a fantastic author, and the way she developed this story to highlight and pay homage to a real-life occurrence of the same situation was truly touching, inspiring, and even heartbreaking. Although it's labeled as YA fiction, I think it's for all readers. I enjoyed reading this YA fiction as an adult; I picked this one up to soften my distaste for novels in this category after seeing "13 Reasons Why" come on the scene and feeling like there had to be a more realistic portrayal of the questions we all have surrounding suicide and mental illness. THIS BOOK is the one people should be reading if they want a closer look. Maybe not solely this book, but this one is a good start, and it helps start the conversation that needs to be had in our society about what we can do for those with mental illness, and sometimes, maybe even what we cannot do, or what we feel we could have done, or what we will always wonder, day after day... THAT is the impact that this type of tragedy has, as this novel depicts. Beautiful story - I definitely recommend it.

Gayle Forman, high priestess of FEELS! Honestly, I don’t know how she does it! She has such a skill for peeling back the layers and getting to the heart of the matter, and for opening up her characters to the reader in a way not many authors can achieve. I’m always left with such a deep sense of understanding after reading a Gayle Forman novel, even when the subject matter is completely foreign to me. I mean, I’ve never been on life support, or traipsed around Paris (or the world) trying to figure out what love truly is, and I haven’t dealt with the suicide of someone I hold close only to be left trying to pick up the pieces…but I can say that because of Gayle Forman’s books letting me in to the soul of her characters, I am infinitely changed. I Was Here is Gayle Forman’s fifth novel and a fresh departure from her last two sets of duologies, If I Stay and Where She Went, as well as Just One Day and Just One Year. I adored all of these books for their storytelling and honest emotions. There’s nothing I love more than reading a book that makes me feel as though I have been granted a special, inclusive look into the characters life. I Was Here does all of this and more! This book is a non-stop roller coaster of feels and my heart just ached for Cody the entire time as I watched her struggle through her emotions of trying to piece together the devastating clues. We meet Cody when she is just coming off the suicide of her best friend. She’s lost, alone and struggling to make sense of what happened. Thanks to a cryptic note and a desire to understand what brought her friend to such a dark place, Cody embarks on an emotional journey as a way to piece together the clues and figure out what happened. With each new clue, she learns that there was SO much more to her friend than she ever knew. Experiencing Cody’s discoveries through her eyes is so emotional and overwhelming as a reader. I appreciated how well Forman unravelled the mystery surrounding Meg’s death and how she portrayed Cody’s grief and confusion. It all came off as authentic and I was just as invested in finding out the truth as the characters of this book were. Forman knows how to give us relationships that are fulfilling and add so much to her stories. Cody’s somewhat strained and confusing relationship with Ben only adds to the layers of this story and by the end you’re cheering for them both to get their happy ending. Ben is the perfect foil to Cody’s character and brings to light a whole other side to her personality. They both have their reasons for trying to put the pieces of their lives back together, and watching them try to accomplish this as a pair is something so moving and beautiful. I Was Here is an emotional and moving story of one young woman’s journey through grief, understanding and ultimately, her journey of self-discovery. If you’re a fan of Forman’s previous novels then there is no doubt in my mind that you’ll love this one as well. It hits all the same notes but in a very different, and very satisfying way.

Gayle Forman knows exactly how to wring my heart until it is almost empty and dry, before helping it to beat once more and let me have a good cry so that I can carry on reading. I Was Here is a raw, tough story dealing with a very difficult subject in a strong and strangely beautiful way. Cody had a lot of trouble dealing with her best friend’s suicide, which is something I found very realistic. Having to deal with all the questions about why, how, the guilt and if she could have done anything differently that might have helped Meg not take that final, fatal step is definitely not easy. I Was Here shows the readers parts of Cody’s journey to accept Meg’s death, to get back to her own life and stop living in limbo. I think I Was Here is an important story to tell, because even if it is fiction, there are so many teens who suffer without really showing it, and the people closest to them may not realize how hard things were for them until it is too late to help. Most of the story here is about the aftermath, though, and I felt so bad for Cody, both because she had lost her best friend very suddenly, and because it was hard for her to continue to see Meg’s parents – even while at the same time it was good for her to see them. And it also points out how important it is to accept treatment when diagnosed with depression or being bi-polar. Cody’s journey is both literal and metaphorical, in that she first goes to Seattle to pack up Meg’s room, and there she finds out quite a few things about her friend she hadn’t known about before. The guilt Cody feels felt very real to me as well, because she had cut off some contact with Meg when they couldn’t go to the same college as they had planned. Cody was jealous and afraid of being left behind, which is understandable, and in many cases a very natural reaction, too. As little by little Cody managed to unravel some of the hidden aspects of the last few months of Meg’s life, I was both engrossed in I Was Here, and so sad I almost wanted to put the book down. Thankfully, there is hope as well in this story. Cody found several new friends, more self confidence and a precise goal to work towards. Written in past tense first person point of view from Cody’s perspective, I felt like I was right beside her, feeling all her turmoil and sadness, as well as the anger and the hope. If you are ready for a tough read, run pick up I Was Here, it really was worth all the tears.

It is hard to put into words how I feel about this book. Maybe underwhelmed would be the best one. The book starts right after Meg's suicide, with Cody trying to make sense of why her best friend would do what she did. When she discovers a mystery computer file that indicates there was more to Meg's life than Cody knew. The good thing about this book was that it dealt with suicide in a realistic way, in my opinion. I recently had someone who I used to be close to commit suicide. This person was a big part of my life growing up and we had chatted and kept in touch through Facebook over the years. I understand the feelings Cody was going through: the grief, the anger and the question of whether it could have been prevented. I even understand wanting to believe that someone else was responsible because suicide seems like such an unbelievable choice for someone to make. The mystery that Cody throws herself into is a result of her grief. Cody wanted someone to be angry at, someone to blame besides herself or Meg. Even though this mystery was fairly predictable, I think it was important to allow Cody to get to a point where she could properly grieve. One thing that was hard in this book was that I couldn't really connect to Cody. Yes, I understood what she was feeling but I think that is because I had been through something similar. But because the book was about Meg's life and her suicide, I knew more about Meg than Cody, even though Cody was the one telling the story. I also think the addition of the romance was unnecessary and it was a bit cliche. There were a couple of points during reading in which I wanted to stop just because it was getting a bit dull. I am glad I held out though because the ending was where Forman packed the most emotion. I won't give away any major spoilers, but Cody was finally able to grieve and forgive Meg. This is a good read by Forman and she handles a sensitive topic well, but it lacks the depth of If I Stay.

An astounding and tragically captivating book. I could not put it down, reading it all in one evening. All of Gayle Forman's books are written in such a way that they touch your emotions and draw you into the story so deeply you don't want to stop reading, you must know how the story ends, as you hope for the best but fear the reality. This book deals with romantic yet tragic themes as do most of her books that I have read. Her gift of writing is powerful and draws you in and touches your heart in the deepest part. This book, especially, is heart rending as it deals with the suicide of a close friend. This is something I know from personal experience that you never walk away from. It haunts you and the smallest memory or reminder causes your soul to awake again to grief no matter how many years have gone by. I pray that no one reading this ever experiences what it feels like to lose someone in this fashion. I pray that if you know anyone who mentions that they are thinking of suicide as a possible solution that you will stand by them and do whatever you can and tell whoever you must in order to get them help. We all go through hard times but suicide is not the way. It is the worst thing I know. Chose life, no matter how bad you feel. Pray to God, He will help you whether you believe in Him or not. I hope you read this book with contemplation and understanding.

I’ve been hearing about Gayle Forman for quite a while now, but this is just the first time I’m reading her work. Maybe it wasn’t a good idea to start breaking into a Gayle Forman book on suicide, but I found myself on an emotional ride, and that counts as a good thing when I get emotionally invested in a book. As mentioned, I Was Here deals with a very sensitive topic on teenage suicide. Cody copes with the loss of her best friend Meg, her hang-ups with her mother and dealing with Meg’s family after the tragic incident. Cody decides to do the family a favor by heading to Tacoma to pack up Meg’s belongings. It seems like an innocent errand at first, until she discovered things about Meg she never even knew of. When Cody learns there’s more to Meg’s death than what she already knew, she embarks on an investigation that will lead her to surprising revelations while discovering something about herself in the process. It took me a while to get into the story—it felt like I landed in the middle of something busy…and rightfully so as the characters dealt with the aftermath of Meg’s death (as narrated by Cody). I guess it was partly because Cody rubbed off as an angsty person and it was difficult to empathize with her due to that. But when I got over the initial disconnect, I was reading one page after the other. When Cody stumbled on a mystery that had something to do with the circumstances of Meg’s death, I was on a roll. I was just as intrigued as Cody and I wanted to find out what happened asap. At one point when she was about to confront Meg’s suicide “mentor”, I couldn’t put the book down. It felt like I was on a journey with her to uncover the truth. As Cody embarked on this investigation of sorts, Forman introduced readers to other characters like Meg’s roommates (Harry Kang rocks!) and Ben McAllister, the boy who broke Meg’s heart. I enjoyed reading about the group, especially when Cody started to warm up to them. The quirky group was a good balance to Cody’s angst and it was pleasant to read about them and how it made an impact on Cody’s behavior and likability as a character. My only gripe about this book was the romance subplot that felt like it was an afterthought. Ben McAllister was the typical rocker with a bad reputation and hooking up with Cody (and for Cody to eventually allow it to happen) left a sour taste in the mouth. The story would have stood on its merits without the romance. Reading about two kids hooking up in the middle of a road trip for unfathomable reasons was just a WTF moment. Nevertheless, the ending eventually made me connect with Cody and I found myself admiring the strength and character of this apprehensive character. The book was more about her journey in dealing with her best friend’s death, how she somehow accepted certain aspects of her parents, and the peace of mind she deserved after everything she went through. Kudos to Gayle Forman for coming up with such a relevant story that tugs at the heart as well as acknowledges the struggles of individuals going through similar challenges. Review posted on WillReadforFeels.com

I have read If I Stay and liked it very much. So I read its sequel. I forget the name. But it was also very compelling. I thought this book might also be related. It sort of is. It deals with death and decisions around it. Suicide is hard. If you have a friend or family member who dies by suicide, you always wonder: Why? Why didn't I know they were hurting? What could I have done to prevent this? Am I to blame? This book clarifies answers to some of those questions. It puts you in the place of friend who has suffered loss to suicide and is very well researched. I think it provides a kind of solace and comfort.

It’s no secret that I’m a HUGE Gayle Forman fan so needless to say, I WAS HERE was one of my most anticipated reads of 2015 that I hope to read way before 2015. Firstly, it was Gayle Forman so I knew I WAS HERE would not only bring a new level of intensity and maturity — since I’ve seen her writing grow each book — but also an onslaught of raw emotion that I fell head over heels for in books like IF I STAY and JUST ONE DAY. I devoured I WAS HERE in a single day. Granted, I was home sick with a cold, but in a way, I was kind of thankful for it because this was a book I didn’t want to put down. My first reaction after finishing was that I WAS HERE definitely had a different feel than Gayle Forman’s previous books… But looking back, JUST ONE DAY and JUST ONE YEAR were also very different from IF I STAY/WHERE SHE WENT. I do have moments where reading a new book from a dearly cherished author is hard. Yes, IF I STAY and JUST ONE DAY (and their respective companions) both dealt with loss and relatives being taken from the main characters when they were far too young… but I WAS HERE deals with not only loss of life but someone you thought you knew inside and out choosing to leave this world and everyone else in it behind. (Of course those with experience dealing with depression know that it’s much more complicated than a “choice”, but since this is a review, I’m not going to get into that whole discussion!) I WAS HERE felt quite a bit different than Gayle’s previous books in two noticeable ways for me. The first was that there was much more of a plot driven by the need to find an answer to a mystery. Obviously any plot has to have some sort of need for a resolution otherwise the book seems to have no point… but with Gayle’s previous books, it was much more about the characters finding an answer about themselves versus an outside motive, which brings me to the second big difference for me: the involvement of a third major character. Although Meg has already taken her life at the start of the book, she’s the driving force behind the whole novel and everything that Cody does. Cody and male lead Ben would never meet without the connection through Meg and it creates a sort of triangle (no, not a love triangle, although things do tend to get a little sticky with Ben and Meg being close at one point) or circle of events that tend to loop back around from person to person. IF I STAY and JUST ONE DAY certainly had other characters that played their own roles, but the focus was very much on a decision and self-discovery that the main character has to make and their romantic connection to another character. With a third element in the story, for some reason it just held and entirely different feel for me. It may sound like this is bad thing but it’s definitely not. I think it’s hard to read an author’s work when you sort of sense a “pattern” and start to get comfortable with what to expect. It was a bit different for me to read I WAS HERE with this new “pattern”, new subject matter, and a brand-new feel but that also taught me not to get comfortable with what I read. My favorite authors will always be writing something new, constantly improving themselves and their writing, and bringing fresh topics to their readers and I’m so impressed with how no matter what Gayle Forman has written so far, I’ve fallen in love with each book she’s penned in very different ways. I love how I can read a book by one of my favorite authors and get something a little different each time, knowing that it keeps her growing as a writer and me growing as a reader. I’m getting a bit off-topic here, but from what I’ve heard when seeing Gayle speak at events, I feel like this is definitely something that’s important to her so I feel a small sense of pride when I notice something like that. I got a bit technical with the review here, but don’t worry — there are also some major swoons! Yes, there is a bit of romance and it’s incredibly interesting to see how it unfolds. Cody meets Ben under some strange and tense circumstances (which makes sense considering she’s essentially looking further into her friend’s suicide and Ben was one of the people she talked to the most) so there’s quite the tension wondering what will happen between the two — and if anything COULD ever happen between the two — due to Ben’s previous interactions with Meg. Personally? I loved how everything was handled. I don’t want to say TOO much about it because it’s best for the reader to discover that for themselves, but I ended up explaining the situation to someone else and I really think it all unfolded in the best way possible. Naturally in a Gayle Forman book, there is no shortage of gut-punching feels. The loss of Meg is just devastating to everyone she was connected to. I’ve never experienced a loss like that and I can’t even imagine what people have gone through that have felt like, but reading books that deal with topics such as death and suicide, I really tend to latch on to the families and friends of these characters pretty hard and I tend to sort of lose myself in the book. It’s definitely a heavy-hitting book as far as emotional roller coasters go but Gayle Forman knows exactly where to lead you on that journey. It’s really interesting to see different character’s reactions and I think she did a great job of showing a wide range of handling grief. One might thing it manifests only in sadness but some characters — especially Cody — experience anything from confusion to anger to depression to motivation. As always, I just really love how real every character felt and Gayle Forman always does an amazing job at bringing characters, setting, and emotions to life in her books. When I sat down to write this review, I did NOT plan to write seven paragraphs. In fact, I had no idea what I was possibly going to say. I worried that it would sound like I hated the book since it was so hard for me to rate. I feel like usually “hard ratings” are due to overwhelming emotions for people — which yes, it was for me — but also that “different feeling” for me made it hard for me to assess my true feelings for the book. Obviously once I started writing about it, it was obvious how much this book really moved me and, well, I already knew it was a 4.5 to 5 star book for me, but being able to talk about it only convinced me more. Sometimes reviews just tend to take you on a journey you didn’t expect and my review for I WAS HERE certainly did that for me. Personally, I can’t wait to see what this book helps other people discover! I’m really looking forward to discussing this one with people. (Now that I’ve found the words, I know you can too!)