Four Loves

In this classic C.S. Lewis, the celebrated author of 'the Chronicles of Narnia,' reflects on love. He begins by observing that at birth we all start out with need-love, needing gift-love. Gift-love is the kind of love the creator shows to the created, in the process of creating and taking care of the created. It is the love a mother bestows on her newborn child. In contrast, need-love is the condition of poverty that every created being begins with at birth. I feel this quote sums up the point Mr. Lewis was making about need-love, 'Man approaches god most nearly when he is in one sense least like God. For what can be more unlike than fullness and need, sovereignty and humility, righteousness and penitence.' Mr. Lewis continues with a brief synopsis of things that we can show love for; these include others, nature, country, and finally, the transcendent creator. Dissecting each, he illustrates that love of nature, patriotism, etc. are inadequate receptacles of our love. Next, Mr. Lewis looks at the different kinds of love which include affection, philios, eros, and charity or agape. Affection includes the love of parents for their child, love of our pets, etc. Philios is the love between friends. Eros is the love between two lovers. Finally, charity is the love of the creator towards the created and the return of that love by the created toward both the creator and creation. Of all the loves, Mr. Lewis holds charity or agape in the highest esteem. All other loves fall short of Agape, as Mr. Lewis states in this quote, 'The (other) loves prove that they are unworthy to take the place of god by the fact that they cannot even remain themselves and do what they promise to do without god's help.' They are merely images of this 'charity or agape' which is both immanent and transcendent of creation. By placing our faith in images we are placing faith in what is transient and temporary. Yet, the love that is immanent and transcendent of creation is all encompassing, therefore imageless, and thus beyond human conceptual understanding.. To understand love in all of its aspects we need both the images of affection, philios, and eros as well as the transcendent for the images are stepping stones on our way up to this feeling of all encompassing love. Here, Mr. Lewis makes an important point about love when he states, 'To love at all is to be vulnerable. Love anything, and your heart will certainly be wrung and possibly be broken. We shall draw nearer to God, not by trying to avoid the sufferings inherent in all loves, but by accepting them and offering them to him; throwing away all defensive armour.' We have to feel love for the images in order to understand and feel the love of the transcendent. Yet, we cannot become entranced by our love for the images of the love immanent and transcendent of creation, because they like we are merely temporary, here one day, gone the next.. Mr. Lewis concludes with this point, 'Only those into which love himself has entered will ascend to love himself. We were made for god. Only by being in some respect like him, only by being a manifestation of his beauty, loving-kindness, wisdom or goodness, has any earthly beloved excited our love.' Most of the time when we think about love we think about it in its aspect of eros. Mr. Lewis compelled me to contemplate love in all of its different manifestations, and through this reflection, to see that love is much more complex than what we frequently assume it to be. It is for these reasons that I consider this a classic read worth pondering.

Within this work, Mr. Lewis is quick to point out the inherent difficulty with regard to the concept of love facing individuals whose native tongue is English. That is, it is easily recognized that there exists an extreme deficit when one applies the same word to describe the sentiment shared with one's spouse, as well as their favorite food. In such extreme cases of difference in terms of the word's application, clarification is hardly needed and might be written off as an embellishment about that which one feels about, say, strawberries or chocolate. However, other instances are more difficult to write off as a poor choice of words; such as, love for friends, family, a spouse, and God. One must surely agree that the sentiment in each of these instances of love can exist and be experienced in significantly different ways. While love is the umbrella under which all of these sentiments rest, they are, as far as most people can tell, very different things. That being said, it is lucky for the reader that Mr. Lewis, almost immediately, circumvents the language barrier and begins to illustrate the foundational understanding which must be apparent for further exploration of the concepts of love to proceed. For those who have struggled with this, even the simplest concept of love's significance, as this reviewer has, the first chapter alone is worth the price of this work's purchase. Building upon a necessary base of knowledge, Lewis begins to explore the nature of love beginning with that love which might be the gray area between the words love and like, or either of the two, as spoken in the English language. Lewis continues his endeavor by tackling what people often consider the more significant forms of love such as friendship, erotic love, and the love of and for God. While no attempt will be made here to convey the significance of the final chapter regarding actual Love in fear of diluting a brilliant message, each of the chapters leading up to that point share common threads. That is, Mr. Lewis illustrates the difficulty which can be had with love in any form if left to our own devices. This illustration is achieved in the author's typical fashion of profound analogies and appeals to common experiences. One can be certain that while this recognition of the volatility of human love is of extreme importance, it is the overriding concept that only by surrendering these loves to Love that one can achieve happiness, solace, and purity in Love which makes this work unquestionably valuable to those that are fortunate enough to read it.

An illuminating view on affection, the so-called 'the most humble', friendship, 'the least natural and the most independent', eros, 'the most natural' and charity, 'the noblest' of all loves, treated in terms of the so-called 'need love', 'gift love' and 'appreciative love'. The beauty and potential danger of distortion and abuse of each love is also covered excellently. C.S. Lewis is both a psychologist and a philosopher, a brilliant one. His treatment on this subject of love is important for every one to know; some that I personally learn and thought to be beautiful, are: - That we ought to love with decency and common sense; - The reward of the accomplishment of a gift-love is its abdication, when it is no longer needed. - When love becomes a god, it turns into a demon; - The calculating love is no love at all which leads to the beauty and mark of eros, where calculations are irrelevant, and when it is in us, we "had rather share unhappiness with the Beloved than be happy on any other terms", and finally... - The excellence of charity, confirmed in the Scriptures, something Jonathan Edwards calls 'the sum of all virtues', where Lewis exhorted to love God who will never pass away, "Do not let your happiness depend on something you may lose. If love is to be a blessing, not a misery, it must be for the only Beloved who will never pass away." - The gracious call to risk and forego for the greatest good. Speaking of Christ, Lewis says, "... His teaching was never meant to confirm my congenital preference for safe investments and limited liabilities... And who could conceivably begin to love God on such a prudential ground -- because the security is better? ...Christ did not teach and suffer that we might become ... more careful of our own happiness... We shall draw nearer to God, not by trying to avoid the sufferings inherent to all loves, but by accepting them and offering them to Him; throwing away all defensive armour. If our hearts need to be broken and if He chooses this as the way in which they should break, so be it." Get this book, friends, and learn that "loves" are beautiful, when handled properly, but 'the greatest of these is charity'.

Reading C.S. Lewis has for me always been like eating a rich dessert: you can't gulp it down in large mouthfuls or you'll miss the flavor. This analogy applies most of all, I think, to The Four Loves. Lewis has such a gift for unpacking complex topics with all the learning of an Oxford professor without coming off as condescending. Yet he never short-changes his readers - he challenges just enough to keep you walking with him as he explores the human heart and that part of it that is knowable in the Divine. Like most of Lewis' works, you can pick any paragraph at random, and you will find a quote with the ring of Eternal Truth: "Love anything, and your heart will certainly be wrung and possibly be broken. If you want to make sure of keeping it intact, you must give your heart to no one, not even to an animal. Wrap it carefully round with hobbies and little luxuries; avoid all entanglements; lock it up safe in the casket or coffin of your selfishness. But in that casket - safe, dark, motionless, airless - it will change. It will not be broken; it will become unbreakable, impenetrable, irredeemable. The alternative to tragedy, or at least to the risk of tragedy, is damnation. The only place outside Heaven where you can be perfectly safe from all the dangers and perturbations of love is Hell." "Suppose you are fortunate enough to have "fallen in love with" and married your Friend. And now suppose it possible that you were offered the choice of two futures: "Either you two will cease to be lovers but remain forever joint seekers of the same God, the same beauty, the same truth, or else, losing all that, you will retain as long as you live the raptures and ardours, all the wonder and the wild desire of Eros. Choose which you please." Which should we choose? Which choice should we not regret after we had made it?" "[Affection] is indeed the least discriminating of loves... There need be no apparent fitness between those whom it unites. I have seen it felt for an imbecile not only by his parents but by his brothers. It ignores the barriers of age, sex, class and education. It can exist between a clever young man from the university and an old nurse, though their minds inhabit different worlds. It ignores even the barriers of species. We see it not only between dog and man but, more surprisingly, between dog and cat. Gilbert White claims to have discovered it between a horse and a hen." Christians, especially those who have marveled at the thirteenth chapter of Paul's first letter to the Corinthians, should not go through life without at least one trip through this book.

C.S. Lewis wrote this book late in his life after he had experienced love with a colleague in writing. He gives sound advice that I believe applies to a broader base than his usual Christian readership. The four loves are: Affection, Eros, Friendship, and Charity. Each type of love has a chapter dedicated to a fuller explanation. My favorite section is the one he wrote on Friendship. I think he is honest about limitations we place on who becomes our friends. Many believe any two people can become good friends, when in reality, this is just not so. Friends are people who share some vision or passion in life. That vision or passion is the cement of the common bond. Lewis had deep friendships with interesting people, such as Tolkien. He even elaborates on his own experiences with such companions. Charity is the true form of love. Charity is the deepest form of giving our feeling, freedom, and even our very selves, to each other and finally, to God, whom Lewis calls "Love Himself." There is wisdom in his admonition that love is not easy or cheap. Work, loss, and sacrifice often accompany the application of true love, which is charity. Unlike other works, such as "Miracles" or "Mere Christianity" where logic sets the primary pace, "The Four Loves" is a book where Lewis brings much of his experience to light. This is not, however, to say that Lewis does not apply logic to experience. Rather, Lewis uses logic to makes sense of experiences in his past to try and uncover truths about love. In writing about love, Lewis articulates some significant moral, social, and psychological truths. Most importantly, he shows that love itself is not God. Love exalted to divinity becomes a "demon," as he quotes one of his contemporaries. Love is only a part of the greatness of our complex lives, not the full of it. "The Four Loves" is another insightful masterpiece by C.S. Lewis.

One of the things I like most about college are the lectures of a really erudite professor. It's such a joy to hear someone with a dazzling array of experiences and insights speak on his subject of expertise. These 4 talks are the closest most of us will ever come to sitting in a Cambridge classroom and hearing the one and only C.S. Lewis talk and talk about a subject of intense and intimate interest to just about all of us: love. While perhaps of lesser aesthetic quality than Plato's "Symposium", it is, nonetheless, far more insightful and USEFUL (That's not to say Plato is not useful; far from it! It is precisely BECAUSE Plato is so eminently insightful and useful that I consider this to be just about the highest compliment one could pay Lewis's work, and a compliment which is richly deserved!). Lewis's unparalleled understanding of human nature; his ability to illustrate the true significance of often overlooked, seemingly trivial things; his use of disparate and always apt illustrations from literature, history, psychology, life, philosophy, and religion; the way in which the highest and the lowest are always placed in right relation in his account of things; all these hallmarks of Lewis's genius are on full display in these lectures on the four types of love: domestic affection, friendship, erotic love, and Christian charity. In fact, Lewis's understanding that these various types of love differ not only in degree but in kind enable him to avoid many of the apparent problems of Plato's account. I would recommend that Lewis's "Four Loves" and Plato's "Symposium" be read back-to-back and then criticized in light of each other, and then reread back-to-back again. Listening to them both (there is an excellent line of dramatic readings of Plato's works by Naxos audio-books) is very helpful, for one gets something different from hearing a lecture than from just reading notes (even if they are an exact transcript of the lecture). Also, Lewis's talks differ slightly in content from the book, and the differences, while slight, are somewhat instructive. One can truly listen with rapt interest and amazement to these talks over, and over, and over, and over, and...

Love reading me some C.S. Lewis, and he's got some great insights in this book. Having it on Kindle was also really nice, since even though I've always been at an advanced reading level (because I've been obsessed with reading since I was 4), I definitely had to read through this slower to comprehend Lewis' often long-winded sentence structures, and being able to look up definitions at the tap of a finger undeniably made the read-through even quicker and more seamless. I bought this version to read for a class since it was the cheapest option, and having the Chinese characters didn't hamper me in reading it at all, if anyone was concerned about that. I definitely can't say I agreed with absolutely everything Lewis writes in this book, but overall, it's an absolutely fantastic read that I would encourage everyone to take some time to devour at some point in their life.

I admit, I haven't read the whole book. Focusing on the chapter on friendship in particular, C.S. Lewis had some wonderful things to say about true Friendships - between men, for men. He said (in effect), "I'm not a woman, so I have no idea what their friendships are like,but I think they just blabber about useless things." I therefore found this book somewhat useless, as I was hoping to learn about friendship love and romantic love on a deeper level but all of his writing is geared toward a male perspective. There might be some nuggets of wisdom to glean in other parts of the book, but I'm not very motivated to sift through everything else to find them. I love all of C.S. Lewis' fiction, and I'm sure this book has value for alot of people. But, I haven't found it very enlightening.

I love the way C.S. Lewis writes, but I was very disappointed with his ideas on humans. In his book “The Four Loves” in the section of Affection, he mentions 3 times so far that humans are simply a type of species and are mammals. This goes against God’s Word! I used to look up to C.S. Lewis but now I have to be careful not to listen to him anymore. Just opening the door to the idea of people being a type of species totally diminishes the importance of eternity and the value of human life. The Bible says that God made us in His image, that He breathed life into us, that He sent His Son to die on the cross for our sins, that He gave us dominion over the animals.. etc etc. As Christians we must be careful of what we let into our hearts! Disappointed in this book but thankful for God’s Word and His truth! God bless.

Het boek is van goede kwaliteit. Erg blij mee :) Zeker aan te raden.

This book gives you a very good insight on what love really is. People not only do not know how to love, but confuse love with human comradry, eroticism or simple affection. CS Lewis states there is only one love, and the rest of loves are just instruments to tune you up and take you to know true love. Human Affection, Friendship and Eros, can only become true love if it becomes part and participates with the other true love Lewis talks about. Read this book to discover how to find true love. Alberto AF. MD, MSc.

Texto excepcional, profundo, com nuances e poesia inserida em sua estrutura. Comentários e citações deslumbrantes. Lewis transita entre os significados do Amor, nos trazendo pela perspicácia a compreensão da natureza humana, sua esperança, sem deixar de desvelar as tentações enrustidas em nosso cotidiano!

Very satisfy. All thing on point.