The Disease To Please: Curing the People-Pleasing Syndrome (NTC SELF-HELP)

This is an interesting read even if you are not a chronic 'people -pleaser'-just a 'mild case'. At the very beginning she puts people into three groups: 1) Cognitive people-pleasers ; 2) Behavioural people-pleaser ; 3)Emotionally avoidant people-pleasers. (You don't need to do the quiz if you haven't got time or do not consider yourself chronic people-pleaser.)As you proceed she will give you an energetic explanation : What is the core of this 'niceness'? (Fear of rejection; fear of abandonment; fear of anger - fear of negative emotions in general manifesting in this defence mechanism.) After the 'diagnosis' she focuses on the cure. I would suggest to read the LOOK INSIDE to see if the writing style is for you or not before you purchase this book.I read this book a while ago and also read other self-awareness books and I can honestly say it does help if you get into the mindset of a more self-focused person (without being self-centered!) as relatives and friends are often trying to impose on us things we don't want to do - just pause for a moment, re-group and think twice before you say Yes, but in order to do this you need to be self-aware enough not to depend on other peoples' validation.This takes time - and the author is aware of that too and urges you not to rush things.Harriet Braiker also wrote another masterpiece : Who is Pulling Your Strings - How to Break the Cycle of Manipulation and Regain Control of Your Life. (The only book which addresses the mechanism of manipulation in great details and more 'unisex' than the others -so suitable for male, even 'alpha or beta+ male' target audience.)She sadly passed away a few years ago at the age of 55. She was a clinical psychologist and published some other excellent self-help books for women to resolve stress issues and grief (such as the earlier published book : The Type of E Women - 'E' represent the woman who is 'everything to everybody' .)

Clear, informative, accessible, well written, incisive, soundly argued, intelligent, no nonsense and based on credible research. Of all the populist psychology books out there, this book stands out as an absolute gem.

Will change the way you act and think and improve your life.

This is a good book if, like me, people pleasing is in your make-up. I was recommended this by a counsellor.I didn't find it necessary to read the whole thing; there is a quiz near the beginning which points you towards the most relevant sections for you. I found this really helpful, and the book chimes with other work I've been doing with transactional analysis etc.Overall very much worthwhile. It didn't get 5 stars because here and there I found it a little heavy going. It is also interesting that the author assumes early on that most of her readers will be female. I'm not challenging this at all but it's interesting what it says about our society. Anyway, some of us blokes are prone to people-pleasing too, and the book is just as useful for us. (Probably does us no harm to have the boot on the other foot, given how patriarchal our society still is, but I digress.)

Rwcoment to all my nice (to nice) friends

One of the best book by Harriet B. Braiker for everyone who wants to have happy life.

I brought both the book and the audio book as I needed to read the book but don't always take it in, and this was a good way for me to do this.But the two don't go together, which is very annoying, alot is missing from the audio, when trying to follow along with the book making notes as I am going only to find we have jumped paragraphs. And I need to pause to read the missing bits.Why is this?

In the process of reading.