The Three Marriages: Reimagining Work, Self and Relationship

Whyte, a poet, applies his poetic insights to the whole of life, seeing it as three marriages: to a special person, to one's work, to oneself. Rather than talking about balancing these parts of one's life, he sees each "marriage" as "a core conversation with life that seems necessary for almost all human beings," even if the conversation is carried on unconsciously. He uses the life examples of writers like Jane Austen, Robert Louis Stevenson, Charles Dickens, J.K. Rowling, and spiritual teacher Pema Chodron to illustrate his points. Here is a nugget for each of the three marriages: The marriage to another person is a place to discuss one another's three marriages. The marriage to work involves deciding what we want to bring about in the world. And silence of one kind or another is necessary to come to terms with the marriage to self. This book has some stunning stories and good resources for deepening your life.

This book is accessible on many levels. I appreciated the underpinnings of the Four Noble Truths that becomes clearer in the “Marriage of Marriages”

The Three Marriages is an easy read and worthwhile. Not as worthwhile as the title might imply, but worthwhile. It has some good illustrations about committment and some untentional (unbeknownst to the author) illustrations about not-quite-so-completed committments. The idea is that people can be (and need to be) loyal and completely committed to more than one thing and/or person at the same time, and do not need to slight one for the other. Someone made a comment about a political speech that it was, "A corporal of thought accompanied by an army of words." This book illustrates something to the converse. It is a king of thought accompained by an inadequate army.It should be read, as Sir Francis Bacon might be paraphrased, "Not for argument, but to consider."

I love this book, and more importantly, the truths it invites me to contemplate and let in. First, I listened to it all the way through on audio--twice, and then I felt compelled to buy the paper version so that I could re-read and highlight sections that were impactful. It is one of the most ambitious narratives I've ever read, with the author's and other biographies woven throughout three sections. These stories act to set you up to receive unexpected and deep gems of wisdom David Whyte lovingly and drops along the story path. I'd also buy the Crib notes, just those gems neatly packaged without the illustrative stories, but only after gaining the full appreciation of the richness of how the stories help make the point. This is a fantastic selection for a multi-session discussion group.

All through this tape, you feel the presence of a true poet who is sharing his poetic, painful, joyful, rich and the inseparable mundanity and magicality of his encounters with people, moments, sceneries, nature, words and in short Life.David Whyte is a beautiful piece in the enigma of existence. His presence and the flow of this rich dimension of his beautiful inner world is rich enough that you can take this tape, or book, be in a small room, on top of a mountain, a crowded place, a hospital bed, in a train cabin, a small café, facing the ocean or....and be inspired endlessly.His work is a gift. A gift that never stops giving,May his work reach the searching souls who seek poetry, beauty, accepting, fighting, surviving, thriving and beyond.

This isn't a self help book but it does encourage the reader to ask valuable questions about their own relationships with work, partner and self. It is honest and and insightful though at time a bit verbose

David Whyte takes you on an in-depth journey to what you are really about and establishes the words to define how committed we can be to our work. I find I am a sponge just soaking up what he is laying out before the reader. Examine it, see what fits for you, how you define yourself for all 3 levels. I never thought of a marriage to "self", but that is part of our journey throughout our lives. The exploration and acceptable of ourselves does take a commitment - a marriage of sorts. Then there is the "self" that is defined by work, our careers, the companies we work for and colleagues we spend so much time with during the work day. We are always asked "what is it that you do"? at parties, the hairdresser, at a church meeting - every where! I feel I have made my marriage to work my own path. Yes, I followed the rules, but added in what I like to do to make things better, with my colleagues and being true to myself along the way. After 30 years of working, I find this book bring me to a new horizon. How can I re-commit myself to all three and how do I shape the years ahead for me and those I mentor? Enjoy the journey for we are always growing up!

Whatever stage of life you are in, this book will deepen your experience with life, with your career, your partner and with everything around you. 5 stars, because I can't leave 6.

David Whyte has a way of articulating aspects of inner life that I've felt, but have never been able to put into words. He's given me a language and a conceptual framework from which to see, and describe, and explore.

This is David Whyte at his best. He has written this book well, describing how we are constantly balancing ourselves between work, self and relationships. He points out that we have personal relationships to each component- to our sel, to our work, to our relationships. Whyte argues against trying to compartmentalise our lives too much. There is not time to divide our life into chunks, or to become different people in different settings.What he's basically arguing for is development of character and depth, so producing stable and effective relationships in whatever context we are. His argument is for presence in whatever we are doing now.Whyte is a fascinating writer who blends many themes into a helpful synthesis. This is a great book and ranks well alongside his earlier classic The Heart Aroused.

This is a book worth reading to understand the relationship we have with ourselves over time through how we balance work, family and self....

A gift of a book. Written with depth and compassion. David Whyte deftly weaves the lives of writers and thinkers with his personal reflections, poetry and philosophy. It is a generous, intelligent, humorous and reflective book. It had for me the quality of an unexpected and deeply rewarding conversation with a stranger, the sense of having encountered something that is not contained by the encounter, but takes on a life of its own and continues to enrich long after the last page is turned.

A phenomenal insight into integrating the different aspects of self, relationships and work (in whatever sense that may be).I was already a fan of David Whyte's insightful poetry, but this book is spectacularly practical, as well as inspiring. I don't mean practical in terms of worksheets or techniques for time prioritisation, but in terms of philosophical outlook and providing a framework within which to reconcile the conflicting, sometimes paradoxical demands of the different areas of our lives.Highly recommended for anybody wishing to reflect on themselves and their lives.