From Conflict to Resolution:Skills and Strategies for Individuals, Couples, and Family Therapy

“From Conflict to Resolution: Strategies for Diagnosis and Treatment of Distressed Individuals, Couples, and Families” (FCTR) was written by Susan Heitler, Ph.D. (NYU). This hard-cover book has 312 pages, with headings and subheadings in bold print, bullets for subject-matter extra emphasis, and some tables.2 key words in the title and book are: ‘Conflict’ and ‘Resolution’. This book deals with getting from the first step to the second, by building in the ‘mile-markers’ in between.The smallest social unit is ‘2’ (also read Dr. Heitler’s later 1997 book: “The Power of Two”). How do 2 people negotiate and keep on track? How do they know how to do this? How do they learn how to do this?I don’t have a professional background in psychology, but I have taken numerous courses in educational psychology and sociolinguistics, for my degrees. I have to deal with psychology and sociology, professionally, when I teach my classes. Added into this are cultural, international, and the dealing with this mixture of students within one classroom, in which I use cooperative learning.At home with my husband, we have used this book as a complement of what we both do professionally and the forms of psychologies that we both use in our different fields. (We also have multi-cultural perspectives that influence our thinking and actions.) And we read and follow Stephen R. Covey’s work, which involves another different form of identifying and resolving problems.FCTR has 3 pre-Chapter sections: 1. ‘Lists of Tables’, 2. Acknowledgements’, and 3. ‘Preface’.Next, come the 21 Chapters, arranged between 3 sections:SECTION I: HEALTHY FUNCTIONINGChapter 1: ‘Overview and Underpinnings’;Chapter 2: ‘The Cooperative Pathway from Conflict to Resolution‘;SECTION II: DIAGNOSISChapter 3: ‘Understanding and Describing Distressed People‘;Chapter 4: ‘From Conflict to Distress‘;Chapter 5: ‘Depression: The Submissive Route‘;Chapter 6: ‘Anxiety: The Immobilization Route‘;Chapter 7: ‘Anger: The Coercive Route‘;Chapter 8: ‘Addictions and Other Escape Routes‘;Chapter 9: ‘Negotiation Patterns and Family Structures‘;SECTION III: TREATMENTChapter 10: ‘Overview of the Therapeutic Journey‘;Chapter 11: ‘Essential Treatment Decisions‘;Chapter 12: ‘Symptom Relief‘;Chapter 13: ‘Guiding: Expression of Troublesome Conflicts‘;Chapter 14: ‘Guiding: Keeping on Pathways that Lead to Resolution‘;Chapter 15: ‘Guiding: Exploration of Underlying Concerns‘;Chapter 16: ‘Guiding: Choosing Solutions‘;Chapter 17: ‘Coaching: Creating Cooperation‘;Chapter 18: ‘Coaching: Assessing Cooperative Problem-Solving Skills‘;Chapter 19: ‘Coaching: Improving Cooperative Problem-Solving Skills‘;Chapter 20: ‘Resistance‘; andChapter 21: ‘Ethical Perspectives‘.There are 2 post-Chapter sections:A. ReferencesB. IndexSection I. identifies and defines what ‘healthy functioning’ is; Section II. deals with the diagnosis of problems; and Section III. deals with the ways of resolving unhealthy behavior.Compared to Stephen R. Covey’s books, for example, this book is clinical. Covey’s books, on the other hand, are written from a business and family perspective that is also cooperative.For most people, Susan Heitler’s book might be more difficult to understand and use in their lives without professional counseling. However, this book is a good read. The reference section is 6 pages, so if readers want more information on a concept, they can easily locate materials to help them understand more. This book can also be read in terms of specific interests like guiding and coaching – instead of reading it straight through.Because I read a variety of books in ranges of certain topics, this book has a place in my library and it should have a place in yours, too, if you are interested in conflicts and resolving them.

My marriage is the most important thing in the world to me and I am always looking for the best resources to help me out in bringing marital harmony. I have spent countless hours talking with therapists, researching marital practices, and reading books on how best to make marriage work. If I could point anyone who is in a relationship that is going through hard times to one resource, it would be this book. Honestly, even if your relationship is strong, the principles in here will still be very helpful.First and foremost, understand that this is a book written by a therapist to other therapists to teach them how best to work with individuals or couples who are struggling, particularly in relationships though. Even though I'm not a therapist, I bought the book and read it anyway and it turned out to be incredibly enlightening as to why some of the struggles that I've faced for years have been happening. Dr. Heitler teaches that the inability to resolve conflict (conflict not meaning arguing, but meaning differences in opinion and desires both interpersonally and intrapsychically) is what leads to depression, anxiety and other mental health issues in a lot of cases. (Quick note--she doesn't state that this is the only cause of depression, just the cause for many people).I found the first 10 or so chapters to be the best material I've ever found on marital or internal discord. The last third or so of the book she gets into therapy techniques, which is still very helpful, but slightly less so since I'm not a trained therapist. The first two-thirds is easy for anyone to follow, regardless of whether you are a therapist though, since she is outlining the circumstances and sharing the ineffective ways that the majority of us attempt to resolve conflict (and ultimately fail at).I wish I could put this in the hands of every person who feels hopeless, like there is a "dark cloud" over their life, or feels inexplicably depressed. There is a lot more in our power than we realize and these things can be solved, as Dr. Heitler teaches here.

the quality of the book is good, and i like the size of letter and everything. i am satisfied with this purchase.

Found the book to be repetitious and very boring. Did not give me much insight into better communication as I hoped it would. I was very disappointed with this book and the work book.

I love this book. There are several chapters in this book that have helped me understand human behavior better than any other book I have read. I am a lawyer and I have purchased several copies of this book for various clients.

This is a very heavy read and hard to follow along! More of a clinical book for other therapists not for just the common person