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A**K
Obvious and Redundant for Women, but Enlightening and Essential for Men, Gender Issues
I'm a woman. I bought this book because I was fed up with my husband's behavior. I ran across the author on youtube. I found the book to be very helpful for men. It's all common sense to me, but based on the behavior of my husband and other men I have had relationships with in the past, this is pretty revolutionary for men.I found the book very repetitive, but I can see why it is. Men are dense and really need to have things repeated over and over again. I can also understand why the author recommends that men read it over and over again, for the same reason. For me, and probably most women, the concepts could easily be outlined in a pamphlet. I know from experience, however, that men generally take longer when it comes to anything having to do with the emotions of women, or how we want to be treated.I recommended this book to my husband, who, in the past has just ignored every book I gave or recommended to him. Most of the books I have asked him to read have to do with insecurity, low self-esteme, codependence, jealousy and controlling behaviors. I think the only reason my husband read this particular book is because I told him we are just roommates now, and I meant it. He read the book. We are still just roommates, but his behavior has improved significantly. I don't know if it will continue. As the author says, you really have to own the content of the book and let it become you. That would require a lot of effort on the part of the average lazy man. Let's face it, once a woman shows any sign of forgiveness, or opens any pathway to her heart, men like children, revert back to old, pathetic behaviors.I did take issue with the basic premise of the masculine/feminine dichotomy. I'm bisexual and many of my friends are transgender or fall somewhere on the spectrum between feminine and masculine. I think the author oversimplified how women are and how we want men to behave toward us. I can see how some guys could misunderstand and take being "masculine" too far, especially if they miss the more subtle nuances and only take away "me strong man, you weak woman."The issue of gender and the feminine/masculine stereotypes was finally addressed at the end of the book, not really to my satisfaction, and much too late, almost as an afterthought. I would have been less annoyed as I read the book, had it been addressed earlier on. That said, this book was written for "masculine" cis-gendered men, who I suppose are interested in very feminine, cis-gendered woman. I think the problem comes when readers come in with their own ideas of what makes a man masculine and what makes a woman feminine, which, in my opinion, is really unfair to both genders. Society and culture has created a lot of funky baggage around the concepts of masculinity and femininity. Corey does make that distinction, but it's clear that he is explaining it to men. In some ways, the book seems condescending and patronizing to women. Perhaps that is intentional, to meet the male reader where he likely is, and perhaps to get him on the author's side.I find the idea that men need to be MEN so women can be feminine, to be a very narrow way of looking at things, but again, men are already confused about basic concepts of communication and what women want, so I guess it makes sense to polarize the genders for the sake of the average reader. I think it would have helped to clarify this earlier on in the book instead of waiting until the end. I do like how Corey explained that women can become more masculine when their male partner is too feminine, which I hadn't really thought about before, but I agree with. My husband has been a weenie for so long, I had to wear the pants, so to speak, because things had to get done. As a result, I leaned further and further into my masculinity to compensate for my husband's lack of effort, responsibility, presence and strength. I often rationalized that, as a bisexual woman, I go through phases, moving back and forth along the feminine /masculine spectrum. It hadn't really occurred to me that I became more butch when my husband was weaker and more pathetic, always leaving all the decisions and responsibilities of everything to me. I think I did the same thing as a child, because so much was placed upon my shoulders. It's hard to do all the work of a woman (men don't realize we do more in general), plus all the work of a male partner when wearing a skirt and high heels. It's hard to feel sexy, feminine and desirable when your male partner is lazy, disrespectful, disengaged and generally takes everything for granted.I give the book 5 stars instead of 4 because I think this revelation alone was worth it for me. I am polyamorous. My other male partner is far more masculine, respectful, present and active, which does free me up to present myself in a more feminine way. I can be more feminine (not weak) around him, because he is more masculine (not controlling or possessive). I also found that because my husband is so jealous and controlling of me, I often played my looks down and dressed more like a man so he would feel less jealous and threatened and make fewer passive aggressive comments about how much "work" I put into my appearance. He often shamed me for buying an occasional new garment or new piece of makeup, and when he says something positive about my looks, it always feels like a slight because he can't help but mention all the "work" I put into myself (which, by women standards, is minimal). I looked like a little boy for the majority of our 17 years together, but I wasn't like that when we met. I do (did) all the heavy lifting in the family and in our relationship, so I ended up looking and behaving more like a dude. I do wish this had been mentioned earlier in the book and more time had been devoted to this subject, however, because I was annoyed by the gender stereotypes until the author demonstrated an understanding of how we tend to compensate for our partners, not just in our behavior, but often in the way we dress and present ourselves to the world.I do like that the author supplements the book with numerous videos and articles, which do add further clarification and nuance. If a man just skims the book without watching the videos or reading the articles, he might get things wrong. Men are surrounded by messed up messaging in movies, music, video games, media, books, etc., so they could easily forget what they read or layer their own weird issues on top of what they read, resulting in a total misinterpretation.Overall, I think it's a good book for men. I wish there were more books like this because men really need help. Some of the language is kind of off-putting, especially about opening a woman's heart so she will spread her legs, or rewarding your date with the "flesh rocket". I suppose it's written that way because ultimately, for men, it's really all about bedding a woman. As a woman, I found that condescending and kind of gross, but I guess the author felt it necessary to remind the readers that they won't get laid if they don't get it together, which is true, albeit crass.
C**R
Love it! This book is directly related to me!
This book talks to me. It shows the mistakes I have made.And it is not too late for me at 47 to find love and fall in love. It made me as a man to wake up and NOT wanting life to pass me by. And reading Coach Corey Wayne's book gives me new inspiration to keep fighting never quit in anything! But I will be honest, there are some points in the book I do disagree with. Number one, I don't care how much we date women we will never understand them....Only the creator himself knows that. I am not putting down the book, some of the advice you must take with a "grain of salt". Now I have seen some of the videos on how Corey, often at times calls men "weak, needy and not in his masculine, this is where I disagree. To be in love, really in love, Coach Wayne missed the biggest point, Love is not an art or a technique, I am not being critical, because he makes good points. Love is a gift from God himself, and that is the biggest point that is missing from the book.Love is not based on a woman's attraction level, if that is so there will be many women and men leaving. I leave it a five stars not because of his way of saying to "have fun, hang out and hook-up" Personally, I have no problem with that, but it goes more than just having sex, it to really finding the right woman or man to inter-connect with. I wished I learned this earlier, I don't have many girlfriends but I know what it takes to make them feel safe and when it comes to making love to a woman, I can do that to as well, Ought to know I was in a 4 year relationship and the sex was hot, dirty, and down right sweaty! True making love, not just hooking up.To me, there is nothing better than being in a relationship where the woman loves you and you love her, Coach Corey makes valid points, true, as stated, relationships are not based attraction level or having massive confidence, sorry does not work that way. I seen a lot of positive responses about his book and I gave a positive response as well, I feel that he explained on what it be to have or what to look for in a woman. But the reality is this: There is no such this as the perfect woman, find the woman that is perfect for you. Ok, I have noticed that the book does not discuss on interracial dating and how I can use these techniques in dating women of other races. Like others, yes, I am AA and date interracially, no big deal.What I like about his book it does not segregate it touches everything about dating in general. Too many people get stuck in trying to use race in love, dating, and sex. That is not what this book is written for, and if you (of my skin color got it like that, I am sorry but this is not the book for you, do not read it if you feel that the book only targets one race). I have decided to change my out look to be not just "Alpha Male" like he suggested, but be a man who loves to be with women. I pick my spots where I can get women and be with them. For me it is not about getting laid by 5-10 different women, which is good do not get me wrong, but it does not serve my purpose. My purpose to find that one woman and give her my gift: My time and my love to her and only her.Any man can have sex with a million women, but it takes one man to love one woman in a millions ways. To make her feel loved and you receiving love from her is the greatest gift. I agree, in a relationship not to expect to have "sex" immediately.....just not going to happen, when that comes it will. He said by the 2nd or 3rd date women start to sleep with men, Not going to debate that because that happened to me and it feels wonderful to feel the body of a (I will say it) naked woman sleeping with you holding her close, feeling and touching her body, curves, sensitive areas, yes I have done that, and I love it and miss it!There is another segment of the book I disagree with; Women are not emotional, sorry women are logical creatures too. Women are not stupid, not by far. We may think that they are but, they are not. I am sure that the women are reading this book and know that in their mind that this book is nothing but how to manipulate them in to getting them into bed with us. But as Coach Corey stated that women love sex and just as "horny' as men are. They just do it a little differently ( unless you are a hooker). I like coach Wayne, but No I will disagree on this: I am not one of the 'Typical Nice Guys' or Needy men who get blown off by women, I finish last to nobody, and that including You Coach Corey Wayne, I don't need to have a lot of women to prove that I am man.I know what I am and do not have to prove nothing to anyone, I do not seek the approval of no one, that includes a woman. I am not a MGTOW loser, I am not a loser period, I do put a lot of restrictions on myself and that fault is mine, nobody else's but me. No more, I am a single man and want to date and will date. Yes I am a Christian, and they say it is the man to pursue the woman to seek his love through her........Now that I disagree, me I love it if a woman pursue me, because I know that I am a catch to her and I am the prize, not the other way around. I want to have women chasing me, not being a PUA ( they are losers anyway) But would it be nice to have beautiful women to chase you? I would love it. Church people may feel "oh it is against the Bible" but this is my life and if I want over a dozen women wanting my time, so be it. Nothing wrong having women to chase you.But have to be careful if they do not find out about each other too. Women can get very jealous of each other, coach Corey does not explain that in his book. Women can get very competitive and jealous of each other in a heartbeat! Be careful of that. Women want a man that have mystery to be a challenge.......debatable....some do and some do not. Best to be yourself. Being James Bond, no, Coach Corey does base his style of dating with too many clichés, not cool. That is a turn off for women, and any 'REAL WOMAN" will pick that up in a heart beat. Never tell a woman that you "have room for one more" Or your past relationships. You have just done a "pick six" (Look it up). If she ask, say a little about it and move on. That is all you have to do.I am not saying is to "pour your" heart out to a woman because she does not want to hear that! Focus your time gift ( love ) to her and her only because if she becomes your lady, you want your relationship to be on her not your exes. She is an ex for reason, and NO, once you break up with the ex, MOVE ON! When it is over, it is over! Coach Wayne addressed it but not clear enough. Women want to be in a love story, if that is the case every women would be with a man right now. This is fantasy, not bitter or being jealous but, for coach Wayne to say that "Women want to be in a love story" C'mon Man, wake up! If that what you think, you are going to be alone for long time, I don't know what women you are meeting that claims who want to be in a love story.....sure women will do one thing and say the next but it according on how she acts towards a man.When in the video says women want to be in a love story........to me that is more fantasy than anything else, Corey Love is not based around a love story.......a love affair when they know each other, reality is this, Love stories are fantasy and that is not how love works, if you really want to know how love works, the Song of Solomon......Now that is a story of real love, it took time to nurture and develop. Sometimes, we as humans really messed up in the areas of love, relationships and sex. But all in all I highly recommend, this book. It is insightful and it can and will help you, just apply the principals, that he teaches, and yes I cannot wait to use the principals, I am going to read this book more before I use them, but if I see the woman I want to be with, I will use them. Oh BTW he makes a very good point that you do not have to spend a lot of money on a date, can have her over your place cooking dinner together, now that I have never thought of.I know I should be finished with my review but I kinda left something out and that is the infamous kiss test, being close until you be inside her. Ok, so the kiss test is when you look at her in a certain way and she starts to move into you in a certain way and you want to kiss her and make out, but you must be sure that she is comfortable, in kissing you, because some or a lot of women are not going to do that period, But if you can pull it off great! If not.......Do not force it! If the women does not feel comfortable don't force yourself on her, period! You do not want to be in jail for sexual assault, don't care what race you are. She must feel comfortable for you to kiss her, do not pressure a woman or act needy and clingy.....sometime what get from Coach Corey he himself acts needy and clingy for hanging out, having fun, and hooking up, if a woman do not want to do that on 1,2,3 or what ever don't force it!Reading is his book and videos sound like he only want women and teaches men only get women that are loose and ready to have sex in a moments notice, be careful, just because you maybe with the so-call woman of your dreams she can be the devil in disguise, and YOU do not want that! She could have an incurable disease, not saying that hooking up is bad that is not what I am saying, what I am saying be-careful in reading in his book because, the woman can be still married and have her husband come for you, in not a good way. Women be careful too as well because the man you could be thinking he is the one, could be still married will not leave his wife and the wife will come after you. Coach Corey should have really addressed these issues before he written this edition of his book. Relationship are to be fun and love is to be fun......but you are there to support each other at the time of needThat what love is all about, not just hooking up, what happens if he or she cannot do it, are you going to leave him or her because she or he does not have the "hot looks or have the financial security? No I am not sounding bitter, about getting laid by may women, I would have bought the book because I want to make love again I love it! I miss making love to a beautiful woman, but love is about sticking with each other through the good times and bad, Coach Wayne failed that miserably, that is not how love works, Love is to support each other period, I quite sure Coach if you loved your wife as you should have done, I bet you would not have been divorced. Love is kind, love is patient, not about having fun, hanging out and hooking up, eventually that will run it course to be played out.To keep a woman interested in you because you set dates on the spot and build anticipation, that is not how it goes. Relationships are not based on sales skills, it is from the heart......And if you and any other man breathing, including myself, do not understand that, then we are wrong. I am not questioning about Coach Wayne being a dating/relationship coach, do not get my reviews twisted. I have observed the videos and read the book, be honest do I have to read it 10-15 times to understand it? Maybe? Maybe not but I do understand it, and what I have understand that women want a man, they want to loved by a man , yes they seek love just as much as we men do, but this other stuff of women condition to seek a masculine man from be taught by their fathers?Debatable? Yes, true? Maybe. The definition of dating is not a sales pitch and coach Wayne is off the mark when stating that. If a woman want to go on a date with you GREAT, of not go to the next woman who will. Do not assume just because you get her number on the spot and you do what he tells or teaches you, that you are guaranteed a date with her , Coach Wayne did not address or cover that in his book and that should have been covered, there are reviews I have read and yes they are negative, but these people men and women are being honest and I would give them a thumbs up before I would give the positive reviews. But in huis videos he claims you can use this technique with the women you work withPiece of advise.........NEVER DATE A WOMAN FROM YOUR JOB! Red flag! Sexual Harassment! Loss of job and income! NO NO! Coach Wayne is wrong for that. Yes myself and his childhood were not the best, but We both pulled from the straps and made ourselves successful in our own way. Good book but a lot of holes, you have to pick through the meat and throw away what you feel is not right for you and I love the book I gave it five stars, grammar is not the best, need to be better WAY Better, Too much repetitive material. I do not need to read one page and find the same adage on the next page. I have a degree in business so I have a pretty good feel in what I am talking about. Love is not about a sales pitch, a woman do not need to be asked if she is sexually open, she is going to automatically feel that you only want her for sex, but if she is open to that, fine. Yes women are made to receive the love from a man, physically, emotionally and so forth. We as men are to lead and protect her, if you are nice guy and run if she is any kind of danger, that is YOUR fault.You as the man are her, best friend, husband( if marriage) lover and protector, it does not take a rocket scientist to figure that out. It is not the responsibility of a woman to teach man to be a man......You should already learned that. One part of the book agree, but you should be already focused on your purpose not by what a dating coach tell you. To me and another man something is wrong. Love what you do and be happy, when the woman lean that she will grow with you. Love is not a game that we should be playing with, there are emotions, if not get a NSA relationship. Coach Wayne made points but many many flaws and you have to be careful. Dating is to be fun.......women are not a piece of meat to be mistreated, I do not believe in that. I believe treating a woman as to be treated. Yes be her lover only after you know her well enough......Love is based around trust Corey.............You do not address that in your book. No trust communication=No love, NO MAKING LOVE. Make your teachings a complete lie and I am sure your hard work is not in vain. Good book just be more clear on what is saying in the real world or romance, because what you written and I have read and saw the videos sometimes are not real.
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