JorVet J-Lube Powder Lubricant | Easy-Mix Formula, Non-Irritating & Mess-Free | 10oz Bottle Makes 6-8 Gallons | Trusted for Veterinary & Obstetrical Use | Safe, Smooth & Easy to Clean | Red White

Messy, but worth it.

​I bought this because the internet told me it was the "gold standard" of slipperiness. When the bottle arrived, it looked innocent enough—just a humble white powder that looks suspiciously like something a 1980s rock star would have on a coffee table. ​Pro-tip: Do not open this near a ceiling fan. If you inhale a stray puff, your throat will become so slick you’ll accidentally swallow your own tongue like a greased noodle. ​The Mixing Incident ​The instructions say to mix a small amount with water. I thought, "I’m a big guy, I can handle a tablespoon." Big mistake. ​Within thirty seconds, my kitchen turned into a scene from a low-budget sci-fi movie. One tablespoon of J-Lube turns a gallon of water into a sentient, vibrating blob of translucent slime. It doesn’t just "pour"—it reaches. It has the structural integrity of a jellyfish and the adhesive properties of a clingy ex. ​The Performance ​Once it’s on, you no longer exist in a world governed by the laws of friction. ​The Good: If you need to slide a grand piano through a keyhole, this is your product. ​The Bad: I dropped the bottle. It hit the floor and bounced. I tried to catch it, but my hands were already "activated." The bottle shot out of my grip like a wet bar of soap propelled by a railgun, shattered a vase in the next room, and then slid under the fridge with the grace of an Olympic curler. ​The Cleanup (or Lack Thereof) ​Trying to wash J-Lube off with just water is like trying to put out a grease fire with a squirt gun. It only makes it stronger. Water is the fuel that powers this slip-engine. I spent forty minutes in the shower feeling like a buttered eel, eventually having to use dish soap, salt, and a prayer to regain the ability to turn my own doorknob. ​Final Verdict ​J-Lube is not a lubricant; it is a portal to a dimension where physics is a suggestion. It is incredibly cost-effective. This 10oz bottle will likely outlive my grandkids. Just remember: once you mix it, you are committed. You aren't just "using" J-Lube; you are entering into a legal contract with the concept of slipperiness itself. ​Would I recommend? Yes. But keep a bag of sand nearby in case you ever need to stand up again.

Is what I asked for and deserve. Real J-lube performance. Mixed with offshelf Water-Based lube store store longer. Still looking for a good alternative that doesn't dry out as fast but is easy water cleanup

UPDATE: 2 MONTHS LATER I'm still enjoying this lube. Judging by how little powder I've needed to use I expect this to last a few years or more. This is better than the lube brands I've purchased in the past. This doesn't stain the sheets at all whereas the others almost always did. I had purchased from Amazon some dispenser bottles (Soft 'N Style Applicator Bottle, 4 oz, Pack of 2) which work great because the bottles are small but will hold a good amount for application. ORIGINAL REVIEW I'll have to admit, I did have some skepticism but high hopes when purchasing this. My only use of this was to add a few pinches of the powder to a near empty 16oz plastic bottle of drinking water. There was about enough water in the bottle to barely visually tell there was still water there. I put the cap on and shook it up and took the bottle with me to the shower to conduct the test. I poured some into my hand but it wasn't until I put it on my skin did I notice how thick and tacky it was yet extremely slick when rubbing on my skin. The sensation was amazing as there was no friction. So it scored very high in the "feeling" category. Although I didn't continue testing to see how long the slickness lasted it seemed that it would last as long as needed for my purposes. Water from the shower head was enough to wash away the lube and so I didn't need any soap/cleanser to assist with that. This is a major plus. Also, I didn't feel like my feet were going to slip in the bath tub from the lube that was washed off or had fallen to the tub. The water was quite thorough in washing it away. pros: - GREAT Viscocity, tacky when less water is used (almost like a slime) which is how I like it - Appears to last just as long as it isn't further diluted with more water - no smell - doesn't cake or crumb up - no apparent staining - didn't require any preparation other than sprinkling some powder in a barely empty bottle of water (no heating up or trying to get exact measurements or water to powder ratios) - you get plenty of powder because the bottle isn't small. A little bit of powder goes a long way so expect your supply to last awhile CONS - The bottle feels a bit cheap as does the cap. You may spill some powder when opening or retrieving powder from the bottle

Very good lube, able to control your own thickness, I prefer it thick and slimy because the mess can be fun plus it seems to last longer and stay on the toys!

Great deal for a superb, versatile product.

This lasts a loooong time a makes a LOT of super slippery lube

It’s the best lube you can use especially making it how you want, thick or softer and a little goes a long way.