Of Boys and Men: Why the Modern Male Is Struggling, Why It Matters, and What to Do about It

Fascinating read that provides the cold hard facts of how women are surpassing men in many different fields.

How are things faring in the United States for men and women? Well, if you listen to the popular talk shows and media in general, you will probably believe that men are still far ahead in the race for educational attainment, career achievement, and just about everything else. But reality paints a far different picture and these facts about the problems faced by the males among us is covered in the pages of this book, Of Boys and Men. Possibly the most glaring problem right now, and the one that gets talked about the most in this book, is the differences between boys and girls in school. Educational attainment gaps are obvious and growing, and yet this gets almost no coverage in the media. Women have higher graduation rates, both from high school and college and they consistently perform better in school overall. Women receive the bulk of the bachelor’s degrees. Women rank higher overall in their respective high school and college classes. The data backs this up, and this book includes lots of statistical data to back its claims. Besides the problems with academic achievement, men face many other problems. Depression is one, and the too frequent result of suicide is another. Male deaths from COVID far outnumber female deaths from COVID. Men still have a great deal of pressure to be the primary economic provider for their families, yet wages have not kept up with inflation. These, and other problems, continue to mount year after year and yet they receive almost no talk in Washington or from politicians in general. And when they do talk, we get the usual polarized, partisan responses from both sides that do nothing to address the problem. I like that this book includes so many statistics to back its claims and I like the explanations of things like the wage gap between men and women, as they more clearly show that the 82 cents earned by women for every dollar that men earn is misleading and is deliberately used by some politicians to deceive. I also like that the book includes proposed solutions, like holding off on starting school for boys for an additional year so that they have more time to develop. It might, in fact, be a good idea to start everyone off in school one year later. The cost for things like additional child care and having government help cover the expense will be the subject of much debate, but I like that the book at least offers potential solutions. This book is a real eye- opener for everyone and the backup for its claims is solid and indisputable. There is much more that the book could have discussed, like the general lack of motivation of boys compared to the past and what forces, exactly, have caused this problem. It is true that development takes a little longer with most boys, but this was also true forty years ago when I was a young student, and we didn’t have these vast differences in educational attainment between boys and girls. There must be more to the problem, and it warrants more research. Reading a book like Of Boys and Men reveals many facts for which most of the public is completely unaware. The book emphasizes again and again that aiding one group doesn’t mean we are taking away from another. It is not a zero-sum game. We can have initiatives that aid boys and have initiatives that aid girls. Whatever the solution, we need to do something before it is too late. We live in a completely different world than in the past and the problems men and boys face require swift responses from our leaders. Of Boys and Men paints a not- so- pretty picture, but things can be improved if we have the courage to put our political differences aside and make a change for the better.

A well researched and thought our book about the problems of boys and men. Written with some humor and great common sense. This is something that we all need to consider and work to make better for all the boys and men in our lives and in our culture.

This is a well written thoroughly researched book. It also offers a number of viable solutions to address the problems that men and boys possess. I highly recommend that you read this book with an open mind.

Men still dominate at the pinnacles of power. Perhaps as a result, the struggles of men and boys lower down on the social ladder are largely ignored. Richard Reeves has written an incredibly interesting book about their problems. Women are way ahead of men in graduating from high school and getting college degrees. Reeves looks at the struggles of boys and men through the lens of social class and the terrible plight of Black boys and men in particular. One root of the problem is the struggle of boys in our school system. For every two men earning a college degree there are three women. For every Black man earning a college degree there are two Black women. Another root is the breakdown of traditional gender roles in marriage, the difficulties of balancing work and family in modern marriage, and the large number of children being born outside of marriage. These problems effect people with a high school education or less most acutely. Many men are left feeling dislocated. Men account for 70% of opioid deaths in the US and are 3 times more likely to commit suicide than women. Things are even worse for Black men, who are often seen as threatening. Black boys are more likely to go to prison than become husbands. Black men without a criminal record are less likely to be hired than similarly qualified white men with a criminal record. In the last part of his book, Reeves offers some suggestions to help boys and men. Several of these are directed at helping boys in school. Reeves argues that women mature more rapidly than men. He would have the school system redshirt entering boys by default. They would enter kindergarten at age six while girls would continue to enter at age five. This would increase the burden of childcare on parents of boys. Reeves would have the school system offer a year of universal preschool for five-year-olds to help with childcare for redshirted students. Parents could also opt their boys out of redshirting or have their girls enter late. Reeves also would have the school system reemphasize vocational learning and recruit more male teachers. Reeves has fewer suggestions to help dislocated fathers. One idea is to fund a system of leave paid for by the state, six months each for mothers and fathers that can be taken up until the child reaches age 18. Leave would be non-transferable, so fathers would have to take their leave or lose it. This would incentivize fathers to engage in child rearing. Finally, Reeves briefly discusses the tension between work and family. The nature of work was fixed when workers were assumed to be the male breadwinners of traditional families. Ambitious men had to work long and irregular hours to get ahead. However, both husband and wife typically work in the modern marriage, and it is just too hard for both to be ambitious at work if there are kids. Somehow, society needs to adapt.

The book is more of a research thesis on the subject and less of an actionable resource of what to do in day to day life to tackle the issues discussed. While it’s heavily researched and sourced with tons of research backed evidence it’s light on what we can practically do to help with raising boys in our family or in our community. If that’s what you expect in this book you’ll be a little disappointed. You can go to last section which is dedicated to recommendations which is good but I would have liked a little more spread throughout the the rest of the book.

The book has good points but the author is kind of all over the place with bias and opinion. It's a decent read.

As a feminist, a long-term advocate for women, and a woman in STEM - I found this book to be extremely well-researched, well-written, and important to the next wave of equality and progress in the US (and world). Reeves writes beautifully and clearly about intersectionality and the entire book is written from this perspective, highlighting important intersections between gender, race, and class. It was empowering to me as a woman to see the incredible progress made by women between the 1970s and today. As someone who is quite concerned about the polarization of the US and the prime conditions for men to latch on to unhealthy and anti-progressive views about the role of women in society and our rights - this book offered policy suggestions that I am convinced are critical towards healing in this space and elevating men’s views of themselves and changing culture in a beneficial way for both men and women that promotes equality. I highly recommend this book and commend Richard Reeves for writing it.